It Was You.

Are you that naive?

It was you.

I wrote about you. Don’t you see? Those long months you were gone, you were the ink of my pen. You fueled my scribblings. The memory of your voice was the wind in my sails, pushing me along, even though your absence screamed at me like the winds of a hurricane.

 

Your words were the only soothing thing about my life; everything you said was like a gentle hand on my shoulder, keeping me from falling. I cherished your words; I wrote them down and hid them away. I would pour over them, late at night, while hot tears were streaming down my face because of all the other pain in my life. But I’d look at your words and smile. When everyone else hated me, you loved me.

 

I wrote about the way you made me feel. My pages sang with life; vivid descriptions of your voice and your words raced and tripped over the lines on my pages. I wrote about your words: “I love you.” You always loved me. At least, that’s what you said. 

But even while I listened to your retreating footsteps echoing in my mind, I survived on my memories of you. I wrote about you. Don’t you see? That’s why I’m still alive inside. There’s still a little bit of you in my heart, and a little bit more of you in my notebook.

 

So you ask me: if I’m a writer, what do I write about?

 

I laugh at your naivety.

I write about you. Don’t you see?

 

Author's Note

*sigh*
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Please tell me if it's complete rubbish. And if you tell me that, tell me why so I can make it better. :)
Please comment!

Reviews

[larryb]

Very Cleverly written Erin, not only is it a clever write but also interesting, keep it up because you have talent :)

[Andrew (not Andy, A.J. ..]

Freakin' awesome!!! This isn't complete rubbish. I like the imagery, "...you were the ink of my pen..." great!
"My pages sang with life..." Love this line.
Good job! good wrting too(or poetry, I s'pose).

[Sound]

Very good! I like the pure nakedness of the story. I don't think it's rubbish at all. I especially love the line, "I survived on my memories of you." You then go on to show how little you have in your heart and what remains in your notebook. I like the idea of rationing off your memories like a starving man might ration off food. It was really surprising to me to think of it that way. I had never thought of it like that.

The only advice I can give you is the one I give to most writers:

"You always loved me. At least, that's what you said. Then you left me. "

There's no gramatical problem with this line, or even an actual problem. It's just advice as a reader I'm giving. When I read this part I think to myself: It would have felt and flowed so much better had she left off the "Then you left me". This is simply because the previous sentence, "At least that's what you said" kinda gives off the same vibe, and to me sounds more lonely and sad then saying it bluntly. I find it is the most common thing with writer's and one I, myself, had done frequently until my uncle slapped me out of it a few years ago. Hope it helps.