Clean

55 words

It wasn't that she meant to kill him. It was that he deserved it. As the final shovel-fuls of dirt hit the shallow grave she stopped for a second to catch her breath. The downpour sent rivulets of water down the small mounds of dirt. Tonight, rain was the only thing falling down her face.

Reviews

[Sarrow]

I loved that last line and how the rain was just her tears. I think though that I did want to know more about what he had done for him to deserve this (did he abuse her, cheat on her, were they strangers?) I just wanted that little bit more information. But I still very much enjoyed this.

[Christy Jeannette]

Why did he deserve it? A bit more added to this, some inkling of why the woman isn't crying for the corpse and how she was made clean, pure, whatever by it's demise, and then you have something with some meat on it. The way it is now, it's really bare-boned and unsatisfying. BUT there is potential. Add some fat, energy, muscle, whatever, just expand.

[inconsistentsea]

Thanks very much for your feedback! If the challenge had not been to keep the piece at 55 words or less there would certainly be more to it :)

[Christy Jeannette]

55 words is hard.

[buoyantMaureen]

NICE! I like the image of a powerful lady character. you broke a stereotype today and surprised me.

[inconsistentsea]

:) I have always found women to be scarier than men for some reason.

[JC]

ha, would make for a great start to a pulp fiction novel, dig the attitude and imagery of this short piece.

[RachelReaper]

the last line is rather mysterious ;) nice short story, it was easy to read. and the first two lines? They sound like the lines of someone who had killed someone, psycho killer edge to it!