cherry pits / black walnut

ode to depression

cherry pits / black walnut

 

i. cherry pits

 

in my stomach cherry pits

(disgusting-shriveled-hard)

(dizzying potential! the flowers I crave!)

please god let time stop

please god let them not be dissolved in acid,

but simmer in the sweet kindnesses I have swallowed

please god let them grow, let them burst

through my esophagus, let the fruit fall

 

spare me or kill me

but do not deaden me, do not force me

inside where all i can do is hear

the echoes of the clattering stones

please god let the fruit fall

let the blood

sweeten the earth

 

ii. black walnut

 

love me, caress me, reach gently

inside to find

my heart, a black walnut

warm and unyielding

small, tough, and hardy

let my body fall away, kiss

the black walnut in my hands

 

as my ice / faith thins

over the vast, severe lake

please give me a glimpse

of what’s inside

 

please god when I press-squeeze-shake-FINALLYCRACK that black walnut

let its core be rich and delightful

let it not be too rancid or withered to grow