Fire in the Rain

Inspired by the Roy Clarke ballad 'We Can't Build a Fire in the Rain'

A murmur leaves your lips,

escapes into nothingness.

Only silence greets the sound,

Is the world really round?

 

You try to rouse them,

the deaf souls to your pain.

Indifferent, on and on

not even a sneer to feign.

 

Death robbed you of your laugh

A smile is in vain.

Try as you may,

can't build a fire in the rain.

 

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

I can feel the longing and the pain in every line here... you write so beautifully of lost loves

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting piece, it feels this way sometimes...we are dead before we are dead...when the heart and soul die, smiles don't matter and fires cannot be built, since we become tears that are like drops of rain.

[Devesh]

Lovely interpretation, Jacob, I love hearing from you! Thank you for reading! :))

[Konigin]

Nice one. I like the easy flow of this one. Good read Devesh! :)

[Devesh]

Thank you, Chelsea :))

[Konigin]

You are very welcome Devesh! :)

[Shaquana Adams]

Brilliant flow in this one. Great work :)

-QuanaWana

[Devesh]

Thank you :) New name? :P

[Shaquana Adams]

Nickname :)

[Devesh]

Nice! :D

[Stefanie Holmes]

Nicely done Devesh! Loved it!

~Stefanie

[Devesh]

Thank you, Stefanie! :))

[Kai Rollins]

You can always try again...I love your flow as always

[Devesh]

Thanks, Kai! :D

[Madalyn Beck]

Fantastic work with this! The flow was effortless and smooth. The last line really brought it home. Beautifully penned! :)

[Devesh]

Thank you for reading, Madalyn :)

[annabellee]

I don't know the song but your rythm is again flawless and I really enjoyed reading this :)

[Devesh]

Glad you enjoyed it! :))

[Vidya Bacchus]

Aww this is a sad poem Devesh. Nice to see you my friend.You have penned this excellently :)

[Devesh]

Thank you :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are very welcome :)

[BlackRose]

Brilliant write. Flows so well. Even though I don't know much of the song, having not heard of it.

[Devesh]

Haha, only the last line has something in common with the song. Thanks :)