Crack 'n' Fruit Loops

Randomness, for a contest :D

Tick, tock. Enough already.
It's time to get up!

If only I knew where my bazooka was,
I'd shut this damn clock up for good.
I roll out of bed, with such enthusiasm
I plot my next move, heading for the kitchen.

I reach for some cereal, arguing with myself over which I want.
Came across the LSD-induced toucan, and poured his treasure into my bowl.
Frothing with milk, crunch-crunch-crunch, so yummilicious.
Nothing like drinking the sugar-laced milk from the bowl!

And so the thought hit me. Bowl, cereal, interesting sound effects...
Why not take Carlin up on his idea
And smoke a bong full of Fruit Loops!
How do you decide between water and milk though...

Puff-puff-puff. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I bet I could fly higher than that stupid toucan.
Then again, maybe he smokes his product too!
Wouldn't that be some funny s**t, a crackhead cartoon birdie.

I don't see why I can't test myself, I'm not driving to work
I'll spread my wings and disappear into the distance!
For once, bossman will be speechless at that sight
Good, he wastes too much oxygen.

Tick, tock. Time to get up!
What the hell? How did I end up back in bed?
I killed that stupid alarm, it makes more noise than my mother.
Got up, and walked to the kitchen.....

Neo and his Matrix kung-fu ain't got nothing on my crack & Fruit Loop kick.