the first last star

I watched quietly
as the first star appeared above the cradle of my fenced in back-yard
I wondered,
briefly,
if I had caused the star to come when it had,
the thought reminded me how much I have forgotten

what I do and do not control

That I don’t even know

what I do and do not control

I watch the star
and I watch a man out of the corner of my eye who I know is not really there but who reminds me of all the things that I am afraid of,
who I see because someone once made me very afraid,
and who reminds me why someone or something else controls when the first star appears in the night sky and not me,

So

I lay back down in the humming grass and watch
quietly,
wondering who the person
who sees the last star will be
and if, when it extinguishes,
they will wonder if they caused it too

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Actually, the only thing we can control is our attention. Don't even think about the stars.

[cricket]

a life where I didn’t think about the stars would be a very sad life.

[cricket]

but I do find the combination of your username and that comment very funny because that is the exact stance the Church would take and I will never be able to understand feeling that way about the world.

[John the Baptist]

I did not mean to say it was wrong to think about the stars, only that one should not believe they could control the actions of nature with their mind. People guilt trip themselves in this way.