dickie

for Elena

yup, i stole yr pants

they were yr treasure

and no one should ever own anything they'll mourn if they lose it

 

i couldn't help myself

u saw me in the street yesterday

you looked frightened, like i was going to hit you

i wanted to shout at you

or hurl my cell phone at the back of yr head

i said nothing

you represented yrself appropriately

 

a f*****g coward

 

i couldn't help myself

every time i see u,

u put me on stage, cast me as the villain

to yr hyper drama

where u always fail

 

you somehow thought winning the girl

was yr game, not mine

 

stupid

it's not a game,

that's why you'll always lose

 

if only you'd tell me

what it was that i did

nah, forget it

these pants look nice with my new sweater

 

yr sister saw me today

in yr dickies, navy blue

she looked the other way

 

so now i sashay

downtown, to my new girlfriend's loft

and go muah-ah-ahhh

 

yup, i stole yr stupid pants

i'm gonna sell them online

with the money, take my girl out for ice cream

maybe dancing, too

sing a new tune for a change

 

(exit immature brat

stage left, tearing script apart)

 

 

Reviews

[Charles]

A lot of interesting things going on in this poem from a structural viewpoint: irregular line length, abbreviated words (yr, u (but why is it you in some places), offest and highlighted lines, and 'street' language. Makes an interesting effect and causes the reader to sit back and think about who these characters are and what the setting is. The whole poem also raises the question of what a dickie is (pants were stolen, now the one who stole pants is dressed in the other's navy blue dickies) - the Beatles wore dickies of another sort and dickie has some meanings on the drug and homosexual scenes as well. The closing comment about stage left adds to the mystery here.

All in all, I think you've done a good job in setting up a scenario and developing the theme in an innovative way. That's good and made the time I spent on this poem worthwhile. :-)