'Matter' 'of' 'time'

'Matter' 'of' 'time'

A Poem by isus

I have now passed through the dawn of infinity.

But what is it that is infinite?

Answer- it is obvious.

Like a godlike creature in my left pocket

Answer- it is never known.

And it lives in my left pocket

Like a flying air machine

Or as some would call it- flying rocket.

© 2017 isus


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

It's refreshing to find a poet who goes further because he dares

So many writers (confess I'm one of them) add cliches as if mere gulps when finding an unknown. Whilst far too many spend their time criticising others they haven't a single orginal thought in their bodies! But the adventurer is a language hero in a way.

Not at all sure what it is, but there's an unknown, in this poem - maybe it needs direction.. if only to help the uninitiated!

Wrote too much initially, condensed it badly but now improved. Forgive.

Posted 6 Years Ago


isus

6 Years Ago

I don't know mam, but it was fun to write that poem :D
Time is an intriguing and fascinating component of the universe. I appreciate your point much here. The editing part can always be taken care of. Its the creative concept that matters.

Posted 6 Years Ago


good work, it may be your writing style but I'm just wondering what "-" symbol really helps in your writing piece. Otherwise very intriguing

Posted 6 Years Ago


"I have now passed through the dawn of the infinity"
It would read better if you omitted the second "the" from that line.

"But what is that is infinite?"
Doesn't make sense. Do you mean 'But what is IT that is infinite?'

I imagine you're trying to impress a knowledge of physics juxtaposed with biology and religion in an abstract poetic way. You failed. Fix the errors and it could be very good.

It saddens me to see so many other reviews leave no constrictive criticism of any kind. They just fawn over things hoping you return the favor. Those types are vampires... they will stunt your growth and suck you dry of any self awareness. Be careful of the extra nice one's on the internet, they are often compensating for or hiding an insidious character trait.


Posted 6 Years Ago


Davidgeo

6 Years Ago

You write a longer version of it after a few weeks. That seems to help me, to come back to shorter .. read more
Davidgeo

6 Years Ago

(add the word "should" after the first word of my last comment) don't I look foolish now. ha.. b***.. read more
The Ink Chapters

6 Years Ago

I know what you mean about the lack of constructive criticism, I have a very patchy short story that.. read more
Wow!
This has such deep meaning!
Yeah, I like the flying rocket.


Posted 6 Years Ago


isus

6 Years Ago

thank you bre
Well I can definitely say I had an interesting read of this. Liked the way it ended

Posted 7 Years Ago


isus

7 Years Ago

glad you like it man !! peace
Interesting read not sure on the full meaning but looking at current events in the middle east I sense conflict here

Posted 7 Years Ago


isus

7 Years Ago

well, i have to tell you im not really into that current situation in world warfare, i have overcame.. read more
Yes! The infinite is the obvious!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very intriguing and beautiful in its own way :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

isus

7 Years Ago

thanx :)
This is intriguing and very nice to read. Really liked it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

isus

7 Years Ago

thank you

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

915 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 24, 2016
Last Updated on July 25, 2017

Author

isus
isus

brod na savi, Croatia



About
nothing special. currently on earth somewhere. rather would be on moon. more..

Writing
let's go let's go

A Poem by isus


What'd ya think What'd ya think

A Poem by isus


Funny moments Funny moments

A Poem by isus



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Love Smoke Love Smoke

A Poem by Paul Bell


Webbed Webbed

A Poem by Saumya