House of a Tormented Lesbian Mind.

Questions I have a lot... Conversations that happen in my head much too often... So I decided to write them down, then share them

     I shouldn't love her. The Christians say I'll go to Hell. That Jesus won't save me, whether I believe in him or not... I don't want to love her if it means I'm going to burn in Hell for all of eternity.
     But I have no choice. Everything about her screams for me. Her eyes, her smile... I love her inside and out... With everything in me. She is beautiful.
     But I was going to burn. God hated me. He didn't want his gay little children. According to the church, those children had turned away from him and would face eternal hellfire. I don't want to burn. I can stop loving her. I will stop loving her so I can meet my maker and be with him forever...
     But she's so beautiful. So sweet. She knows how to make me happy... One day she want to get married...
     But the Bible says that it's a sin.
     It also says sins will be forgiven if one believes that Jesus Christ is their savior...
     It also says you have to repent.
     Why would I repent of this? Something that feels so right? Why would I let go of love?
     But they say it's devil-work, not love. That Satan makes me think that this is right.
     Can Satan work in the heart and make one love? That doesn't seem to be in his field of work.
     But he will do anything to turn you away from God.
     Didn't God say that one must love all?
     But not the way you do.
     Where does it say so?!
     First chapter of Romans in the new testament.
     But it never says I'll burn for loving her!
     If one do not repent of a sin, one cannot be forgiven it, and they will burn.
     But what if one is never given a chance? God wouldn't just forget them! The Bible says he'd never forsake his children.
     He won't forsake good little Christian children that follow his commandments. He has given you plenty of opportunity to repent, you just haven't taken them! You will also be punished for that.
     But that's wrong! That's not his way!
     He is ruthless, a jealous God.
     He is also loving and kind! He gives hope. He loves all.
     All but sin.
     Which means he can't hate me! He hates the sin, not the sinner.
     But a sinner who does not repent becomes the sin.
     Since when is love a sin?
     When you love the wrong person.

  But... but... but...
     What did I do to put myself in this situation? Did God think it would be funny to make me suffer like this? If me loving her is such a big sin, why did he let it happen? He could've stopped it. He could've made it so I never had to go through this confusion, this pain...
     I know I shouldn't love her. They say I'll burn for it.
     But if God decides not to save me.... Too bad for me... Because I can't stop falling for her.

Reviews

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I wanna slap anyone who says that loving someone of the same sex is wrong...*hugs tight* it's not wrong to love her, never think that...if god isn't willing to forgive you for it it's his loss because you're a wonderful person and he should be proud of you regardless of who you love.

[Broken Hearted Faux]

I agree with V...tho if you want to give me up for god thats okay. Im really not all that worth sacrificing ur soul over....after all, I'm not that great. And dunt you dare argue because then this'll just end in a big fight neither of us want....but Im willing to let you decide wat u want to do with me no matter what the conclusion... I love you, I do, but if it's to save your soul Im willing to just be friends....