The Suicide

All he wanted to do was die...once.

The Suicide

By Jack Ivey

 

Removing the chrome plated 38 caliber revolver from the dresser drawer, he places the barrel in his mouth. The taste of the cold metal on his tongue causes him to wince. Darren likes how it feels in his hand as he closes his lips around it and places his finger on the trigger. Darren catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and thinks how disgusting he looks; how cowardly his appearance reflects back at him. But it does not sway his decision. It is his 30^th birthday and he has made up his mind that facing another year is not worth the effort.

 

He has not written a note as there is no one to address it to or who would even care what he had to say. His reasons do not matter just as his life does not matter. Sweat beads on his forehead as he slowly applies pressure to the trigger; the knuckle of his index finger now white on his nervously shaking hand. Closing his eyes, he squeezes. In a flash he can feel the bullet piercing the roof of his mouth, ripping his flesh apart as if in slow motion. The pain is unimaginable as the flying piece of steel enters his brain, twisting and turning as it carves a deadly path through his sad endless memories. And then, everything goes black as the back of his skull explodes, spraying shards of bone and brain matter across the room. His lifeless body hits the floor with a thud; eyes closed, mouth open and the weapon still clutched tightly in his hand.

 

Darren opens his eyes and slams his fist against the warm stone floor. “Oh God, not again�" not again!” he shouts.

 

A loud raspy voice bellows from the darkness, “God can not help you now.”

 

Darren sits in his rusted cage and between sobs pleads, “But why�"why must I relive this over and over again?”

 

“This is hell my little goat; your hell. You should have realized there would be a price to pay for taking your own life,” growls the voice again from the black cavernous chamber outside the cell.

 

“But I didn’t know it would be like this,” he whimpers.

 

“You do now,” laughs the voice as it echoes off into silence. "You do now."

 

Removing the chrome plated .38 caliber revolver from the dresser drawer he places the barrel in his mouth. The taste of the cold metal on his tongue causes him to wince . . .

      

Author's Note

A short Flash Fiction story

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

Wow! A true horror story to urge against suicice. If you believe those who take their own life go to hell it's a very scary thought. That's one of those moral conundrums that leave the door wide open for fantastic horror write ups like this.

[Jack...]

Thanks Kristen. Welcome to my dark side

[Calypso]

Ya flash fiction! Not a bad idea really.
The only problem I saw was with the beginning of sentences. You use his name or He too much.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much

[InsanityWriter]

Intense. I love it! It is very well written, and quite origional. We can't be sure what hell's like (and I hope we never know), but this is fitting (although each case is different) All in all, an excellent write. :)

100/100

[Jack...]

Thanks so much. This was fun to write and I painted it the way I thought it might be.

[Marie]

Very good flash fiction, as usual. There are many hells; this one may be fitting for a suicide. Though that's something I would never judge.

[Jack...]

Thanks for reading and commenting Marie.

[xXChanceXx]

Interesting. Makes you think. I like this. It's a very haunting story. Nicely written.

[Jack...]

Thank so much

[Clayton Bardwell]

Interesting. I never thought about the payment. The wages of sin. Clever how it repeats.

[Jack...]

I am happy you enjoyed it.

[Marie]

Very good.Should makeanyone think twice about killing himself.

[Jack...]

Thank you so much for reading my story. I appreciate your kind comments

[Lucien Maier]

grizzly and haunting very nicely done

[Jack...]

Thanks, the goal was to write this in under 350 words.