Seeing You Again

Seeing You Again

A Poem by J
"

As I've said.True Friendships never end.

"
I remember sand boxes and Barbie dolls
When we were 4 years old
A couple of years later
We have stories and secrets told
We eat Ice Cream and other sweets
My mom would give you some of my treats
We were best friends
We were sisters
We'd have campings during summers

One day you left and lived out of town
You said you'd come back
You left me with a frown
Years ,I waited out my window
We'd write letters to each other
I keep one under my pillow

One night I received a letter
It said you were coming back this June
I was so excited
I was going to see you really soon
The next day you came
We were happy,we were the same
Our looks and likes may be different now
But our friendship will always stay
Since then we're still together 
We have this necklace
There written:Best Friends Forever
I'm so glad you came back
I hope you'll never leave again
So that I'll never say these words below 
Again,I'll see you soon my friend

© 2010 J


Author's Note

J
I'm accepting any form of reviews.Both negative and positive :))

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Reviews

i liked this how ever the overall flow of the poem is lost at times. Not much you can really do there though with out getting cheesy with over rhyming. The content is good. Good Job :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A good poem and a good subject to write about. The idea of a poem telling a story that takes the reader through different emotions of loss and then happiness is a nice way of doing things. Be careful with grammar though, just rechecking the work a few times can help make it easier for the reader to understand how you want the poem to be read. Good write! Jaff

Posted 14 Years Ago


a nice write with a touching sentiment very relevant to a great many i would imagine. a portion of hope for those waiting by windows.

Posted 14 Years Ago


And I disagree with AJ challenger.
You are not required to always "Rhyme" a poem. I mean, if you have written a good poem right from your heart then I'm sure everyone will love that.
But on the other side, even though if you rhyme every sentence perfectly and while writing the poem you keep that sense of rhyming in your mind rather than your emotions, then the poem will surely turn into a disaster even though it will rhyme perfectly.
Rhyming does not makes any poem good or bad...it is the emotions, and how you can convey them in your words.

Posted 14 Years Ago


This was nice, though I liked the first part of the poem much much much better than the last verse.
I mean, for me the poem was running absolutely perfect till
"Every night I pray to God
Hoping you'd be back soon
I miss playing tea time with you
Every afternoon"
But after that, it just went so flat for me :(
But overall, I enjoyed it :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


I'm sorry, but I didn't really enjoy it. The rhyme scheme was basic and lagged the writing down at times. The concept of the poem was very nice, but we run into the same problem a lot of people have when trying to rhyme things: the sentences are choppy.

I would look up a rhyme dictionary and try to find some stronger words, or work on a more complex rhyme scheme. Again, I do like the idea of this piece and think it's worth the work to make it better.

Posted 14 Years Ago


"Since then we're still together
We have this necklace
There written:Best Friend Forever"..that'd be my favorite part.
Missed your chaste writes ..well expressed ..makes you smile ..:)

Posted 14 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i really really liked it... i really liked how you explained your relationship with her within the flow of time, since you were 4 till today... How things that mattered to you that time now brings smiles to u and all of us which reads this. Very good job, well done Jean ^_^

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

A very pleasant write. Everyone should have such a friendship. You've conveyed the relationship quite well. Nice job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

You conveyed the feel of the poem very well. Not everyone has such a friend who has stood the test of time. Just watch the spacing around punctuation. A comma should be connected to the word that came before it and there should be a space after a colon. Those were just minor things I picked up. Good job :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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27 Reviews
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Added on December 29, 2009
Last Updated on January 12, 2010
Tags: Friendship, Time

Author

J
J

Philippines



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