Lost Me

Thought of it while walking home.

I was walking alone, going home

I was smiling because I just got to see you today

The next morning, bad news came

"He died of a car accident" that's what they say

I didn't believe them,I knew you were alive

I could see you every time I looked

Is this unreal or did you really survive?

I got to talk to you,I became more stubborn than ever

I kept telling people you were alive

I contradict them whenever they say your life is over

I didn't want to believe them,you know I wouldn't

I could see and talk to you,how come they couldn't?

I thought they were just playing with me and so I continued

To believe that you were here and that you weren't dead

I started to ignore people and walk with only you

Even my parents tell me that they don't know what to do

"You've gone crazy" everyone keeps saying

Another thing they say is that I'm hallucinating

I say NO ! That's not true

I knew that I was really with you

They got really upset and thought things through

There was only one thing left to do

My mom packed my bag,I wondered why

Whenever I ask her,all she does is deny

I got on the car and watched her drive

An hour later we reached a strange place

People I saw were all in white

Strapped bodies,I could feel they were tight

Mom grabbed my bags and led the way

I was feeling scared,I didn't know what to say

A man stood beside me,my mom stopped walking

She put my bags down,I noticed her crying

From then I knew what she was planning to do

She left me with goodbye.It wasn't a good view

The man locked me up in a cell,very dark and cold

None can get in or out,that's what I've been told

I held my knees,it wasn't a nice feeling

To see nothing more but walls and ceilings

I was shocked to see him.the guy I've been seeing

It was all strange to me,to have him beside me

"No" I thought.I suddenly thought

"I AM crazy"  they were right after all

What was depressing  was  that I came to realize this

"He IS dead" and I started to cry

A moment later,I had no sight of him

I felt normal but depressed

I wanted to get out of here

But I know I couldn't

It'll take a lot of time

I hoped that it wouldn't

Now that I'm here alone

I know what I'll do

Pray to God and hope for tomorrow

I'm left in this cell because I wouldn't listen

To the people who loved me,I chose contradiction

I hope to be better sooner or later

I hope for him to stay away from me forever

This is what I learned from him

This is what he made me realize

I was weak and lonely

I quickly lost me

Author's Note

It's been so long since I last posted something

Reviews

[Elanra]

this is a very good piece of work. it seems off at some parts and seems like u tried too hard to make it rhyme but still i just loved the way u wrote it like a story. Its also incredibly sad and at the point where u finally realise you are delusional, it was heart-wrenching cus i could feel the loneliness there...

Overall its a great write.. I think u really should try writing more poems in story format. You have a great potential. Well done ^_^

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Aww.. let me tell you, you have written your heart out here!
This was so raw and beautiful, both simple and striking...The closing lines for me stood out from the rest.
Very powerful!

[AJChallenger]

I feel the same way about this poem as the other, the concept is very good, but the rhyme is basic and lags it down. Read some things by Frost and look at what he does with the rhyming. It's sublte, but has a compexity of its own.

[KIMBERLY]

oh!How sad,so touchy!!!T_T I know how it feels 'cause you really can't accept the fact even the reality, my tears fell in a sudden while reading this kind of article,...........

[CircusNerd]

wow, breathtaking words to form emotions. i can see everything happening so vividly and the feelings floating around in here are just so masterfully described. i also loved how the rhyme scheme changed pattern, yet the words still flowed together in such a way that the lines could have been couplets. i only found one mistake:
No that I'm here alone
shouldn't that be 'now'?

[Lexi =]]

I love this poem! Great Jean. U did a good job expressing your emotions :)

[Luna]

This is kind of sad. Someone you so deeply love dying and your mind tricks you, tells you that he is alive. Very nice write.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

A situation where perhaps you lost someone and due to their importance in your life you might have not wanted to believe they were gone sooo badly that your mind tricked you into thinking they really were not gone. This was really creative and your story flowed very well making it easy for the reader to understand such a thing.. I applaud the honesty if this is real.. it's can't be easy to open up about such a traumatic and sensitive thing. If this is creative..

I really think this was well done.. it captures a bit of what it would be like to not be able to let go.. a family member seen their grandfather is a casket.. said "that is not my grandfather" (It truly did not look like the grandfather remembered due to a huge loss of weight and facial hair visible which this special man never wore a beard).. had a hard time coping with the loss as they were really close.. he temporarily believed he was still in the hospital or at home cause he thought it was a joke maybe.. this can and does happen to people.. I felt this was really good!

[ebur™]

Great great great poem. I loved the way it was a story put into a poetic form. Like Fabian said, there were grammatical errors, but nothing that really got in the way. I think this piece had so much emotion filled up in it and you expressed the piece really well. Wonderful poem-100% :)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You have a few grammatical errors but nothing major. The content was interesting and entertaining. I have seen people lose their minds over grief and it's not a pretty sight. I was thinking at first that your mom was taking you to the morgue to see the body. Nothing to dispell a ghost like a good old fashioned corpse. You did really well on this write. 100% from me, great job.