Beastly Hearts

A short love story with a stupid name by me :)

Her name is Charlotte Elliot Rose. Yeah, what a beautiful name, what a pretty girl. Charlotte Elliot-- no one is named Charlotte Elliot Rose. Who names their kid a name so high-flown, so fancy and... No, she looks nice. Look at how she's smiles, I'm glad that she's smiling... No she probably has a simple name, something unassuming and beautiful, that doesn't draw too much attention to itself. Katie. Or Marie, or Allison. Yes, it's probably Katie Allison. What are the odds of being right about this sort of thing; people don't grow to look like their name. She looked this way, she saw me staring. She probably-- no I think she was looking at the clock behind my head. I'm just going to go. I'm-- no I have to go say something. I can't keep doing this. Okay close your eyes. Breath in. Go. Open your eyes. Say something.

But as he is about to speak a rush of fur floods out from his agape mouth and leaps over behind the girl. It spins around in a growl and its stare fills the throats and hearts of the nameless would-be lovers with adrenaline. He grabs her fear-frozen arm hurriedly and pulls her right out from the leaping jaws of the feline. They run down the corridor, but come to a halt at a fissure that impedes their further escape. He looks back at a voracious death galloping towards him and releases the girl's arm, putting himself between this monster and his new found delicate rose.

She opens her mouth to scream to him to stop, and an even more colossal fear jumps from her jaws into the hallway. The new beast tears the old asunder and the boy and the girl stand silent in awe. A rumble from the chest of the colossus turning towards them assures that this is still not concluded. She grabs his arm and pulls them both down the fissure, landing on soft, muddy dirt and grass. They begin to run, neither daring to loosen their lips lest an even larger monster erupt forth.

He's handsome when he's scared. I know I shouldn't be thinking that, given the circumstances but, it's, just, nice, you know? I'm glad he came and talked to me. He's been staring for the past half an hour. I really guess that-- I mean it's hard, having to-- I'm just glad that he said hello. I wouldn't have even given a second thought about him if he hadn't. I realize we're all a little scared about stuff like this but, man up, you know? Well I mean he did, so I shouldn't-- it was brave what he did. Well, it wasn't all that brave. He's the one who started the whole thing so it's really up to him to do what he did anyway. If he wants to go and stare at some girl for half an hour thinking God knows what about her. I shouldn't have smiled. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't smiled.

The boy and the girl shakily climbed a lofty tree found after running for some distance; the mass of fur and fangs had injured one of its legs in the fall from the fissure and so was a considerable pace behind them. They were running out of breath and could only keep running for so long, but they were safe up here now. In the moment of repose, the girl looked into the boys eyes and as a smile crept slowly into his face she slapped him smartly. His smile swiftly erased and her stinging hand joined her other one over her mouth as her eyes widened with surprise guilt. He looked stunned for a second and then frowned and furrowed his brow. She lowered her hands slightly and opened her mouth to begin an apology but a sleek mass of blubbery anger dived out and knocked him off of his branch, plummeting both the boy and the killer whale down below. The sudden weight that had found itself in her jaws snapped her branch almost simultaneously, sending her spiraling downward. She grasped her hands 

quickly over her mouth to stifle a scream.

A splash, a SPLOOOOSH and another splash as all three falling figures crashed into the ground which had newly materialized as an infinitely deep and infinitely wide body of water.

* * *

I didn't mean for this to h-- well why would I mean for this?! Who would want this?! Frankly I don't think that she, no anyone has the right to. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I didn't-- but she had just as much a part of this as I did! I just wanted to say hi, she was pretty and I thought it might be nice to try again, maybe I shouldn't have even bothered.

The boy floated through the water listlessly, mind aflutter. It had been days since he had seen the that girl, or that tiger or that monster or that whale. As soon as he had hit the water back then, they had all disappeared. It was for the better that way. There's nothing to worry about now, I can just focus on what's at hand. So he focused. He opened his eyes and stared out into infinite. Dark with a blueish hue wherever he looked. He told himself that this is what really matters. He kept his stare fixed on nothingness and kept focusing. This is far more important than just some girl. Who was she even? Probably nothing. She probably did have some ugly or mean or unimportant name. Cindy Sue is probably what it was. She didn't matter. This matters though. I'm happy like this, and I don't have to be afraid of anything anymore.

A light. It was dim but with such concentration, such unadulterated focus, it was easy for him to make out. So he began to swim towards it. Nothing had stood out in this water until now, so he might as well go see. As long as he kept his mind focused it wouldn't matter what this was any way, but he might as well go see. He was a good swimmer, swimming was all that mattered now so of course he was good at it, so as far away as this light seemed it was no matter to him.

The light began to take form. It was her, she was luminous. The boy frowned. He didn't want to have to put up with this again. He almost considered turning back around but what good would that be? Why should he have to be the one to turn back around? So he kept swimming.

He floated towards her, and then stopped. Her eyes were closed, and she didn't seem to be very awake. How dare she sleep when he has been swimming nonstop and focusing his mind this whole time. He reached out and gingerly shook her weightless arm. Her eyes opened slowly, and then quickly. His mouth opened in a focused fury and hers with shock and a tinge of remorse. Currents upon currents of beasts and monsters of all shapes and sizes swam out of both of their mouths, whirling around them both. They did not silence their lips this time though, and the two ignored the growing ocean of fear and death that was closing in on them. The whole sea was quivering with emotion as the boy and the girl were pushed closer together by their honest anger and insecurities. They are arm in arm now, with bodies pressed close against each other, and a silence falls on both of them. “I'm sorry,” he says quietly. “I don't even know your name.” But she just smiles and pulls his head to hers. Their lips press firmly against one another, and a rush of blinding light erupts forth.

The two lovers are locked in each others embrace, lying on a cold floor, but that doesn't matter to them. He's just glad that she was smiling and she's just glad he said hello.  

Author's Note

this is my first shot at a short story or really any amount of creative writing! I'd love any and all feedback!

Reviews

[closed..acct]

I really enjoyed this write, your imagery and detail was amazing!
You kept me reading on which is good. Like this.

[The_Danciest_Cougar]

Although I made the jump and was able to follow along even through the weirder parts, I can see how it would be difficult for others to do so; as Holly suggested, adding some more detail and differentiation would probably help the reader along in understanding the metaphors.

Other then that solid writing and a good depiction of young love and how emotions make it difficult to communicate at times. I liked the use of an ocean as a metaphor for a lonely calm, an accurate description of how it feels to be alone: on the one hand good because you don't have to worry about the complicated emotions you previously had to deal with, giving you a sense of calm; on the other it becomes glaringly obvious that you are alone.

Your Fooly Cooly influences show through a lot in this one. The only other thing I can add is I don't like the title lol.

[Holly M. May]

I really enjoyed this story even though the animals confused me at first. I thought they were just symbolically there or something really weird was going on, but at the same time it did make me curious to see how it ended and I'm really glad I kept reading. =3 My advise is to maybe hint at why the animals are coming out of their mouths just enough to keep people reading rather than having everything held at the end. Another thing is just separating their thought processes like the boy could have italic thoughts and the girl's thoughts could be bold and italic or maybe even making the font styles different. But like I said before I thought this was a really great read and if you have any further questions don't be afraid to ask me. =3