Shell

Of how one person carries all the sins of our world.

A shell of a man alone he stands

Tired of this world with its endless demands

Like a hammer on glass his mind slowly breaks

This hell born onto earth he can no longer take.

Gone are the days when the sun warmed his skin

A vision of black he resides in our sin

The reaper is coming to cleanse his soul

He crawls from the darkness rising out of his hole.

It walks the earth sniffing out his victims of the night

The cries of the dead are losing this fight

 It finds him alone drenched in our sins

With a strike of his scythe this reaper surely wins.

A shell of a man alone he lays

In a puddle of crimson his lifeline drains

His world shatters open to reveal our true sins

The angels are weeping as fire cleanses and wins.

Author's Note

this was quite rushed all feedback appreciated :)

Reviews

[Layi Tate]

Wow ..... okay Hook line and sinker you got me!!!
I'm subscribing .... ;)

Gone are the days when the sun warmed his skin

A vision of black he resides in our sin

The reaper is coming to cleanse his soul

He crawls from the darkness rising out of his hole.


It walks the earth sniffing out his victims of the night

The cries of the dead are losing this fight

 It finds him alone drenched in our sins

With a strike of his scythe this reaper surely wins.


I LOVE THIS !!!

[Jamie]

Thank you very much! Means a lot :D

[Layi Tate]

You are welcome ... I love how you captured Death in this piece .

[Jamie]

You are too kind :D

[Jennifer Shaw]

Reading your beautiful work makes me realize how much of a beginner I truly am. I hope someday to be able to paint pictures with words as eloquently as you do. Subscribed!

[Jamie]

Aw! Thank you so much! Really means so much! :)

[Matching Socks]

Great poem Jamie, I don't think it sounded rushed.
Hit all the right chords, kinda gave me the chills...
Good job.

[Jamie]

Thank you Ana :)

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. :)

[Layi Tate]

What can I say I love Morbid pieces and with suffering added to it makes the perfect combination

[Skai Rain]

Such a beautiful and meaningful poem. It is relatable and can be interpreted in so many ways. Thank you for sharing!

[Jamie]

Thank you :)

[katnisscat]

I don't think it sounds rushed at all. You din't need to spend days perfecting a poem. I like this the way it is. Thanks for sharing.

[Jamie]

Thank you for your review :)

[ksscampos]

great write! the imagery is so lively! I truly enjoyed this

[Lola_Bee]

Wow, wow, I enjoyed this, it took me spinning into imagination and darkness with sorrow. Loved this piece, great job

[Jamie]

Thank you Lola :)