Chapter One

It’s hard to pinpoint when a story actually begins. Is it when things start to get interesting?  Is it when things start to noticeably change towards something?  Or technically we can all say everything starts when we are given life to this world.  But if every story started from the birth of someone, (whether we count a fetus as “birth” or not is a total political issue that people rage over, so let’s just not even turn to that page.) stories would all be the length of dictionaries, and really, it’s only self-acclaimed smart people that actually read the dictionary for fun so this story will skip right along to where things aren’t unbearably slow. 

Chapter One

“Shh, they’ll see you.”  Pulling Cherine’s arm lightly, Layton whispered with a smirk on his face.  “No they won’t, they’re too busy in their own world anyway.  F**k, they probably won’t even care at this point.  They should though; I mean…ugh this is just all so… fucked up.”

“Well you seem pretty fine about it�" judging from the fact you’re not upset. I was hoping more for a sky-falling shocker face of misery, but this is fun in it’s own way.”  The two, Cherine Matsuhara and Layton Fei are standing outside of a classroom, peering in secretively at the actions inside.  “What the f**k was the point in any of this?” 

“Well, it’s part of my job to help you guys face reality, no?”

* * *

So this is where things really “start to move”. However starting from here would be horribly confusing. All stories need buildup, everyone needs a past and present.  For the climax, the story needs to go back about three months, when the two of our newly introduced characters first met. 

Cherine Matsuhara.  Average  height, grades, and looks.  Average age for a high school story too. Sixteen.  But there is no such thing as average personality, and explaining her every characteristic would take away from one’s imagination.  Born under the Aries horoscope, she is outgoing, and no one can seem to tell her wrong when she believes it’s right.  Her short bangs show off her motivated eyes, and the blue streaks in her hair express the fact that she has a sense of fashion, despite her high school being a uniform school.  Cherine actually enjoyed the uniform code though; it meant less time to ponder over clothes in life, and she thought maybe if the girls were all wearing the same clothes, the guys would try and look towards personality. 

This hypothesis crashed and burned Freshman year when she saw her crush of four months go out with a too-short-for-uniform skirt wearing, librarian volunteering girl who seemed to always have a button missing off her shirt.  Cherine often wondered (even before her heartbreak) if she ever knew of wearing tank tops or white bras, as the girl always seemed to be wearing black lacy bras that showed right through the white uniform shirt and her missing second-counting-from-the-top button.  But she worked in the library, and she had glasses.  Cherine saw right through it, and so did most of the other girls, but high school guys’ brain cells were all usually pumped between their legs or was being smoked out into the air in the bathroom.  Either way, the “sexy librarian” character the girl created worked, and Cherine, despite her efforts in having her crush notice her, had to face the fact that a screw in his head was probably missing, just like the girl’s button.  Or who knows, maybe the button, er no, the screw, just never exists for most guys.  That was the conclusion Cherine came to after something quite too similar happened to her about three times in a row. 

“I’m not saying I want a high school sweetheart I’m going to marry,” she would often say to her girl friends, “I’m just saying that it’s not that hard to use the brain where it’s located.”  She secretly admitted to herself though that the reason why she was never too hurt was because she herself was never serious about the men.  But she also concluded to herself that she was only 16, and so were they, so everyone’s equal. 

Cherine honestly wouldn’t even be able to answer if one were to ask of her first impression towards Layton.  Their first encounter was the first History class of the year, in September.  “So, my name’s Mr. Fei.  And no, I don’t own a Chinese restaurant.  I’m going to be teaching History to you kids for the year.  I believe I’m also your homeroom teacher, but this is my first time being a homeroom teacher so don’t ask too much of me.  Let’s do some self introducing, shall we?”  Cherine’s brain processed up to “Chinese”, (this was when she looked up to see if he was actually Chinese, and was proved wrong.) and then she saw a face.  A face she would not stop thinking about for the next 40 minutes of class, a face she would not stop looking at.  Thanks to this, it took her forever to remember everyone’s names and faces because the “self introductions” was muted and every love at first sight song she could think of were ringing in her head.  After about 14 unheard names and trying to be clever comments, the boy she had been singing to in her head got up.  “I’m Harrison.”  He paused, and then nervously smiled.  “I don't really have any smart funny thing to say, sorry.”  Harrison then sat down, and went back to talking to his neighbor, but Cherine could tell he was a bit embarrassed by what he had said, and that that was why he had went back to his conversation so quickly. 

“That’s fine, half of the ‘smart clever comments’ weren’t really funny anyway.”  Layton’s comment had disappeared in mid air for Cherine, and all she could think of was: Harrison.  He wasn't the cutest ever, he wasn't the smartest ever, he most certainly wasn't the most clever or charismatic, but something about him shot an arrow to Cherine’s heart.  He looks like he could be in the woods with like, squirrels.  Cherine thought.  Or no, he would look really cute on stage with a keyboard.  She then began to try and imagine him playing every instrument she could think of; drums, guitar, bass, saxophone, clarinet, flute (“Too Shakespeare looking” was her conclusion to that one),etc… On and on and on.  As she started to imagine him with a tambourine, Cherine caught him turning back to look at her.  She could feel her face slowly rise in temperature, and looking away, she noticed that he wasn’t the only one looking back at her.  So was the rest of the class and Layton.  “Dreaming of another world already?”  Cherine quickly got up, introduced herself, and pushed away her embarrassment in her head by pretending she was really tired.  She put her head down in efforts to try and making it look like she was “too sleepy” to listen.  Embarassment only lasted for a minute because her mind quickly went on to think about something more important and delightful:

Harrison had smiled at her.  Well, in reality, he was smiling at Layton’s comment towards her, but he was facing Cherine, and that’s enough for a newly fallen in love girl to be flying in wonderland about.  In her defense, Harrison had a unique smile that was eye-catching.  His soft freckles and green eyes gave him a young look, and when he smiled, his right eye slanted down as his lips parted slightly, showing his teeth just the right amount.  Cherine also secretly had a minor fetish for pointy ears bony necklines, which needless to say, Harrison owned. 

Also, let’s not forget about Layton.  He, unlike Cherine, could recall this moment as “their first encounter”.  As he walked in the classroom and began introducing himself, for the first time, he watched a girl fall in love.  Love wasn’t quite the word, but to her at the moment, it was nothing less than “love” that she had seen in so many movies and books.  Layton, being older and more experienced, felt almost invading to watch this happen.  The boy was clearly clueless to what had happened in the past 15 seconds; in fact, he didn't even know the girl existed yet.  He suddenly felt as if he was placed in a Best Coast song. 

He stood in front of the blackboard wondering to himself when the last time he had "fallen" for someone as hard as this girl has (And thanks to this thought, Layton also had a hard time remembering faces and names of the class) and if he was so open about it. The girl he soon will find to be Cherine was sitting near the door, obviously in thought about Harrison with her face slightly red and fingers restlessly tapping on the table, probably coming from nervousness. As Harrison got up to introduce himself, Layton could see that her mind had come back to reality for the 30seconds he had talked. His introduction was nothing special, but Layton couldn't stop himself from commenting, as a guy, whether old or young, he had to give credit to the boy for having a secret admirer after sitting in a classroom for 10 minutes.

Harrison didn't exactly seem anything special to Layton; dark caramel colored short hair, (actually, their bangs slightly match; the girl must be thinking it's "destiny", Layton thought.) matching colored light freckles, large green eyes, sharp nose and skinny eyebrows and lips. The more he stared the more he actually saw something in the boy; he isn't the most handsome at first glance, but he most certainly grows on you somehow. He seemed pretty friendly as well, judging from his talk with his neighbor.

Layton looked over at the girl. She also wasn't the prettiest in the bunch, but she clearly wasn't one to want to be the prettiest out of the bunch either. Her black hair up to her shoulders had blue streaks and her bangs were cut short, her eyes dreamy, gazing at her new axis of her world.  Her brown eyes, not as large as Harrison's, was accented with a small birthmark under her right eye. He could tell even from a distance that she had long eyelashes from the distinct shadow it created in her eyes. She was attractive, maybe not to everyone but to many, Layton believed. That is, if she even cared about the rest of this world. "Dreaming of another world already?"  It took her a second to even process that; probably because she was too busy trying to reason why Harrison was turned towards her. "Hello, I'm Cherine...nice to meet you all." Cherine quickly sat back down and put her head on the desk. Really, thought Layton, pretend you're asleep. That gets more and more useful as you grow older.  This was finally the moment Layton had made a "first impression" for Cherine without Harrison being a part of it. It was: "A painfully embarrassing girl."

Harrison had no clue of any of this going on. All that was really on his mind was the show he had planned to go to with his friend sitting next to him.  Despite this fact, Cherine's heart was blooming roses. It had been a while since she had been interested in anyone, which made it seem even more of a destined meeting. The fact that the classes were probably just divided automatically in a computer system never crossed Cherine's mind, and she had forgotten Layton's existence by the time she walked out the door. What was on her mind was how she was going to talk to Harrison for the first time. Cherine knew she was the type to base people on first impressions, and had found nothing wrong with the idea. Instincts are like Sharpie, she often told herself. And 70% of a first impression is made from their instincts. But the 30%.... She had no idea she had just made a rather embarrassing first impression to someone already, thank god, which meant she still had some sort of strength to not make such a fool of herself. Sadly, Harrison wasn't a part of her next class (in which she will get a lecture from the next day because she didn't know any of the supplies she was supposed to bring) but that gave her plenty of time to simulate her first talk.

In conclusion, her first talk went fine enough that they quickly became good pals. They had similar tastes in music and food, (which Cherine was delighted about, since it was an excuse she could use to go grab a bite after school) and went along to a few shows together. Cherine could tell this wasn't the usual "oh yeah, he's kinda cool, I'd go out with him" feeling; it was so much more.  But at the same time it felt so much easier, as they started to get so close that saying anything to each other would make no difference in the relationship. Except for Harrison's words, three months into their friendship.

New Years was coming, and Cherine was a little annoyed at the fact that she had not seen Harrison for winter break at all. Yes Christmas is a family/girlfriend event, but really, I'm sure Jesus would be happy if a group of friends (or a pair in her case) was celebrating for him. It's the thought that counts, right?  This was Cherine's idea that she didn't have the courage to bring up to Harrison. They had been texting about nonchalant talks and had vaguely brought up the idea of hanging out, but nothing was set on the table, which worried her that perhaps they weren't as good of friends like she believed them to be.

On the 29th of December, just as Cherine was rolling in her bed trying to get him off her mind desperately, a theme song of her favorite game filled her room suddenly. Surprised from the sudden music, she thought for a split second that small green aliens were going to roll her into a ball like the game, but quickly realized she had just changed her ring tone to stop herself from telling herself she heard the phone ring. "Hello?" Distracted from the ring tone thought, Cherine picked up without looking to see the caller was; but to her pleasant surprise, it was the one call she had been waiting for. "Hey, what's up?" She had not heard Harrison's voice in years it seemed, (in reality time it had only been a week) and his clear voice seeped into her ear to mind instantly, filling her even more with thoughts of him. "Oh Harrison, what's up?”  She desperately tried to sound as casual as possible, but she could feel her lungs shaking as she breathed. She hated the fact Harrison had grew so much power over her.

"Nothing really, enjoying the break. What's your plans for New Years?"

"Um...nothing really in mind, maybe calling some friends to hang out. Why?"  Being half Japanese, Cherine knew she had plans for New Years with family, but like most other 16 year old girls, getting to hang out with your crush came before all.  "Oh, well did you know Camps are having a New Years show?  It's free, I'm sure there'll be a bunch peeps but we should go."  Camps was Cherine's all time favorite band. They weren't liked by much around her at all, or known at all really, but Harrison was as big of a fan as she was.  It was a habit that they've grown together to sing their songs anytime they'd see something that represented any of their lyrics. Cherine, needless to say, absolutely loved that. "Really?  Camps?  Of course!  Oh god we can finally go to a Camps show together!!"  Harrison laughed, and just from his tone, she could tell exactly what face he was making.  Cherine imagined his smile, and she could hear in his laugh he was excited too. "We should try and get there a little early just in case, I feel like they'll be a lot of peeps there for the f**k of it being a free show on New Years."

" Yeah definitely, I wouldn't forgive myself if I missed this." With you, she said to herself in her head. "Oh yeah I know. It's weird, we've seen so many shows together and our one favorite we had yet to see."

"I know!  And it'll be great since it's New Years too!"

"And for other reasons."  Harrison paused, and chuckled. Cherine felt like she was missing a joke, or she had somehow been made fun of, but she was too excited to really care for more than half a second. "I'm telling you, it's gonna be f*****g great. Dude, I hope they play..." Harrison started to sing her favorite Camps song, and Cherine sang along, knowing he brought that song up knowing it was her favorite. That's what she loved about Harrison; they had known each other for not too long, but he always seemed to make the effort to get to know her. Cherine often tried to return the favor, but there was always an uncertainty in her that wasn't quite sure what the line between "friendly nice girl" and "girl that's obviously into me" was.  She didn't want him to think she remembered everything he told her (she pretty much did; she had awfully good memory when she put it in use), but she wanted him to know she cared. A lot.

Layton had typical plans for New Years: drinking. He had absolute no care for it at all though, for he didn't understand what made New Years so different from every other day people drank and partied. He enjoyed the fireworks, but even that was usually ruined by crowds of drunks and tourists. Unlike Cherine, he didn't have a crush calling him up to go to a show, or cute duets over the phone. And although he had a girlfriend, or a girl he thinks he's "dating", he wasn't exatic about the idea of kissing her as the year starts, or drinking with her, or even seeing her as a matter of fact. It wasn't her fault; she was fine. But just fine. He liked her, but he wasn't in love with her in any way. He wondered lately if he even really liked her, or if he just liked the idea of having someone around that liked him. 

           As Cherine continued to roll in her bed after her phone call, (this time from extreme hyper excitement in which she couldn't handle so later falling off the bed over) he sat in his studio apartment, blowing a cigarette in front of his laptop wondering to himself why he had been feeling so bland. He had everything he thought he would have at this age; an apartment, friends, a job, a girl, and most of all, freedom. What more could he want?  At 28 years old, I shouldn't be thinking like this, Layton thought.  He closed his laptop, and inhaled his cigarette. He tried to remember how he was in high school, thinking that that's the time a person's mind is most active.

           It was in high school that he first decided he wanted to teach. In his young mind, he decided he wanted to be someone in school the students could go to, because he himself  hated school.  He had friends, he had girlfriends, he had good grades.  But the feeling of being trapped never left him, and grades all just felt like judgement to him.  He felt it was so unfair that students had to be kept in this institution when they were the most active and flourished. On the downside, he understood that it was also the time where teens were most unstable. But then why weren't anyone helping out? 

          This thought became stronger in Layton when his ex girlfriend from freshman year came up to him and told him she was pregnant. It was senior year then, and they had not talked since their breakup in sophomore year. The last he had said to her was "F**k you," and the last he ever heard her say was "I'm sorry". Two years later, she was coming up to him crying hysterically in the staircase. All he had done was bump into her accidentally, and here she was, in a total emotional mess. This was the incident that made it clear to Layton that he wanted to be someone to help students out. It wasn't right for her to have bottled everything in to the point of busting out on an ex.   Layton had almost forgotten that even happened, and that it was the reason of his current career. I guess New Years does make you reflect.

        *                     *                    *

        New Year's Day was when Cherine finally got what Harrison was trying to say over the phone. Her favorite song was an encore song, and as soon as the guitar had played its first note, she could tell it was her song. She jumped and danced in excitement (so did 200 other people around her) and Harrison danced right along with her. Cherine couldn't hear them singing, but they could see that their mouths were in complete sync, and all the sudden, so were their lips.  For a second, Cherine couldn't really comprehend what had happened; it felt so natural that it did. It was when they had gone back to dancing when she finally registered that they had kissed. It wasn't at a romantic dinner, it wasn't even private, and it wasn't in the rain like every movie she'd watched. But even though they were covered in 200 other people's sweats, spit, and whatever other form of liquid, it was the best ending to the year she could ask for.

            Things stayed stable afterwards, and the new year seemed like it was going to be the best for the both of them. Harrison never really explained his actions that night, but there was an unspoken mutual understanding between them.  Or so Harrison thought. One month into the relationship, Harrison bought Cherine an anniversary gift and date, and this was when it finally went through Cherine's head that they indeed had been dating.  "What did you think this was then?"  Harrison laughed as she explained herself. "I mean, I thought we were dating, I was almost sure of it, but like, you never actually said anything.." He blocked her words with a kiss. "I guess sometimes words mean more than actions?" 

     Two months ago when this happened, Cherine thought that she had finally found something that truly meant the world to her.  Layton had also noticed that they had stated going out, and was generally happy for the two. His relationship on the other hand, wasn't exactly in the best condition. Suspicions were building that she had been cheating on him, and the worst part was that Layton couldn't bring himself to really care.  In fact, he found it almost amusing to watch their relationship turn into a sort of a child playing house. It wasn't that he wasn't hurt over it, which is why he had not broken up with her; he had been waiting for a perfect situation. Layton also didn't want to hurt others in the process, and he knew that would be inevitable.

It was when Layton was wondering about all of this, that he and Cherine would have their first actual conversation. (Besides talking about history, of course.). He had been in the empty history classroom after school organizing the students papers, when Cherine walked in. "Oh hey Mr. Fei," she looked a bit surprised to see him. "Am I not allowed to stay in my own classroom?  You seem disappointed the room isn't empty."

"Well no, I'm just looking for a room to be in while I wait for Harrison."

"You can stay here. You can also help me clean the place up a bit too, though."  Cherine made a face, and then quickly began to laugh. "You're always so good at getting people to do stuff for you."  Layton had heard that many times before. Whether or not he agreed with it, was another question. "So, that's why you were disappointed the room wasn't empty."

"What?"

"You're waiting on Harrison right?  Aren't you two dating?"  Cherine's face bursted into red. That wasn't on her mind at all, but Layton's words made her imagine a situation that could've happened. "No, Mr. Fei, god really?  It's not like that. I mean it is, but no, I mean we're dating, but.." Layton found it quite amusing to watch the girl stumble upon her words and thoughts in embarrassment. He then felt a sense of guilt to what was ahead of her. "I know, I was joking. How are you two?"

"We're good, we're...yeah."  She blushed even more, and put a gentle smile on her face. It was the kind of smile that Layton had not seen in a while; it was so naïve. Cherine was smiling for the sole reason of Harrison and their relationship. He could tell it made her wholeheartedly happy. Layton then realized what he had been so uncertain about for the past few months. It was because he had not been able to feel anything as wholeheartedly as this girl had, he had not been able to fully put himself in a situation; always slightly cold about everything. "Well," Layton felt his heart beating unsteadily. Something had changed in him; was this realization more of an epiphany?  "That's good for you two."  He suddenly wanted to change, wanted to feel like things mattered, and the bad wasn't such a big deal. Like her. "I've always felt you were a peculiar teacher," Cherine said as she organized the world maps in the room, "I like you though, and so does Harrison. Oh, did you know?  There's a rumor going around that you.."  Layton wasn't really listening to Cherine at this point anymore; all that was on his mind was how to turn all of this upside down. He felt horrible that he would have to drag her into this, but he also knew it would be better for her in the end. Layton always believed a little sadness makes a girl more beautiful. Besides, he was interested in how she would react. Once Layton made up his mind, he never went back. "Can you actually take these papers to Ms. Morrison's room?"  Those words that Layton said was what would shatter Cherine in fifteen minutes.

Ms. Morrison was Cherine and Harrison's English teacher. Unlike Layton, she was very firmly a teacher; never crossing the line with students.  Many liked her for her niceness though, but Cherine could never make up an opinion about her because she felt Ms. Morrison to be very distant.  Her classroom was half a hallway away from Layton's.  She walked down the hall wondering how long it was going to take Harrison to...

Cherine suddenly felt someone watching her. She quickly turned around, only to find that she was alone in the hallway. "Stop it, please."  As she walked a step towards the door to Ms. Morrison's room, she heard a voice. "I really wasn't trying to let this happen. And neither were you, I'm sure. You have someone too." 

"Barely.  He doesn't care. I'm just...'around', you know?  You see me though. You care. "

"I care, but not in the way you're thinking.  And quite frankly, unlike you, she cares about me.  I like where I am in the relationship." 

"I know, but..."

"You're the one that ended things, it's unfair for you to talk like this now. Besides, it's too late."

"You were heartbroken though. I know you. You still care. You aren't the type to hate someone like me.  I don't care if it's sympathy."

Cherine was now in front of the door, carefully trying to listen without letting herself seen in the window. It was almost an instinct; she didn't want to hear anything being said, but she knew she needed to. "I don't love you." 

"You will again."

"I don't care, I don't want to do this. It's too late, you missed your f*****g chance. You broke my heart yeah, but it's whatever now. Don't try to use me to fill your gaps up."  Cherine couldn't comprehend what exactly was happening. She knew it was important; she knew it was crucial for her to know what was going on. She heard footsteps, but she couldn't move. She peers in the window. Ms. Morrison was leaning towards Harrison, touching his hair. Why is she touching his hair?  Cherine tried her hardest to think of other situations this could be. "Stop Ms. Morrison."

"Call me by my name like you did." 

"You weren't a teacher then.  Please.."  Harrison tried to move away, but Ms. Morrison's look was strong. She knew what she wanted, and she knew a part of him wanted it too. Slowly, she inched closer and closer to his face. As slow as it was in real life, it seemed even slower in Cherine's mind. No, she thought to herself, no, no no.

“Shh, they’ll see you.”  Pulling Cherine’s arm lightly, Layton whispered with a smirk on his face.  “No they won’t, they’re too busy in their own world anyway.  F**k, they probably won’t even care at this point.  They should though; I mean…ugh this is just all so fucked up.”

“Well you seem pretty fine about it, judging from the fact you’re not upset; I was hoping more for a sky-falling shocker face of misery, but this is fun in it’s own way.”  The two, Cherine Matsuhara and Layton Fei are standing outside of a classroom, peering in secretively at the actions inside.  “What the f**k was the point in any of this?” 

“Well, it’s part of my job to help you guys face reality, no?”