nightmare of passion

nightmare of passion

An unknown presence emerge,uttering few chosen words,
drawn in by your unfaithful eyes.The way you move
Intrigues me to see the lust that hides. 
Every emotion flickers like untamed flames 
every touch becomes pure satisfaction,almost ever lasting. I sit calm while my lust is on it's edge,you move like a snake 
with no sign of stress.As your steps gets close,your eyes hides Pandora box you are unwilling to expose. 
I almost let you swallow me whole,a stare so ice cold,heat this passion as we watch the flames grow.A faint warning to leave, a seduction that robs my speech, 
silent as I may be, every breath echo's deep. 
a cage made in thorns,as you watch me bleed,I want more, no I need more. 
Fallen for greed,give me my voice, I need to speak. 
Your web of lies , insanity and danger, 
I know what is beneath this disguise, shall we take of these shallow masks? 
And take a pass on the mystery and lies,deep fear and change of roles 
The secrets I hide in depth, throws you into the unknown. I can feel how every string has lost its powerful grip, I whisper, fear has its own sweet taste, I take my leave before the curtain falls,I hear faint whispers, while I walk in this dark hall. 
The whispers written on every wall. I wait for your return,as I will watch the king of thieves burn.
king of thieves.....
It sends chills down my spine, my own devil from inside, hidden from all,yet you gaze with those eyes.You see the past that never dies...

I respond....

Wait for me demon king in disguise, my return is one your own soul will truly dispise.....

Author's Note

A poem about a nightmare i had last night. I hope you can get a better understanding of this dream then i can! enjoy ^_^

Reviews

[GlacialStars]

Wow dude! Awesome poem! I've read the reviews and I don't agree with some of them. I personally wouldn't take this as a short story because there isn't much of a plot in there but a poem yes! You got the metaphors and the imagery maybe not the rhymes but you can say it's a free verse poem although that doesn't stop your writing from being beautiful.

Dude your poem is very very beautiful! I had to stay on the end of ,my seat because every detail and every word was said so beautifully that I was consumed into the extravagant beauty of it all. You have no idea how passionate I feel about this poem! And I feel dumb because it seems like I'm the only one who feels this way but I was touched by your poem nevertheless.

If you succeeded in translating an image into a written form and made it sound this good then I too want to have that nightmare...Great job dude and make sure you keep writing! Y___Y so...beautiful -sniff-

[jamal]

Thanks dude! your review means a lot! :)

[MOON]

deep dark write good imagery.

[jamal]

Thank you MOON :)

[Leigh]

The translation of your dark and disturbing thoughts come out with a really nice flow and measure.

[jamal]

Thanks man, i had raw source to draw from and it turned out better then i could ever imagine :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

This is awesome, very dark and seductive. An enjoyable read.

[jamal]

thank you :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :)

[Nick.B]

Interesting poem, you managed to bring the darkness out of your head in this write...great write

[jamal]

Thanks :) I am happy that you like it.

[David the writer]

I wouldn't call it a poem, short story. But it was good, I liked it. It seemed a little forced here and there, but not too much, so it didn't ruin the poem. So good job! I liked how it started out seeming more about a woman but then it just turns into a nightmare. I also liked how everything was describbed, very nice. It all seemed as though I was having the nightmare

[jamal]

Thank you man :) Yeah i have still some editing to do in this poem/story and im working on the prelude to this nightmare story. Again thanks for your review it will come to good use for the prelude i am working on . :)

[David the writer]

That's good. Glad I can help.

[Pax]

dark but passionate... it paints a emotional longging to a person succumbing to lust... very vivid in imagery and dreamy...
Great Work, enjoyed it!

[jamal]

Thank you my friend :)

[Marissa Brazzell]

dreams are sometimes scary. but nightmares are worse. i have always hated nightmares. i have them almost every night. good job.

[jamal]

Thank you alissa for the kind words, its true nightmares are worse but as long as they are not real we have the power to controll them :)

[Frieda P]

Dreams/nightmares give us much food for thought, they come from our deep consciousness to connect thoughts. This is very vivid imagery, only you could possibly figure out what it means, but it's suggestive in nature, forbidden, majestic, lusty...fearful. Very nice write.

[jamal]

Thank you for your review, your input gave me a lot to think about!