Broken Keys

Broken keys


Broken keys for every dream i fail to succeed,
measure the full length of life,
the book cover may differ from the content written inside.
Key of knowledge, experience in my deposit,
I sit here in thought processes of my next conquest,
I am young man yet i only find dust in my pocket.
I fall back to hiphop music,
were my love is constantly proven,  
i hear the beat of that drum,
spit my lyrics like my soul is forever young.
I wasn't great!
I was never meant to be chosen,
but my actions have spoken!  
The door that never existed has finally opened,
i stay silent were other choose to make a commotion,
i became their mine, and they said my art was golden,
yet here I stand with tears of others people dreams broken.
they are talking about my death, when i left, like i became a shadow of my old self.
Like i lost my drive,today I have new keys to open different part of the sky,
i embrace the positive,it sparks my brain and gives me confidence,to break the shackles on my mind.
It's only common sense,I recover to get stronger past the moment I feel strongest,
to reach the things that I want to accomplish, failure is not a option.
Today I am not pompous,not even obnoxious,I stay humble and work on my writing that i need to  polish.
The keys are like my word play, emotions of colors including shades of gray
i pray i will never get numb and let it all fade away....

Author's Note

I havent had much time to work on my poems last week and wont this week ether :(
I have a lot of catching up to do! i will read all the requests you sent as soon as i get some time over to do so, until then i will leave this poem here :) I came close to finishing this poem 2 weeks ago and wanted to have more time to perfect it, i like the feedback i get from you guys here on writerscafe so it can help me a lot if you tell me what you think! i start writing this poem a year ago and i feel this is the right time to finish it. thanks and see you soon hopefully :)

Reviews

[fiery-san]

This piece started out well... but it got kind of muddled in the middle where you seemed to want to express so much that it got all mixed up and chaotic... they final parts were well done... my favorite was this part

Today I am not pompous,not even obnoxious,I stay humble and work on my writing that i need to polish.
The keys are like my word play, emotions of colors including shades of gray
i pray i will never get numb and let it all fade away....

It tells the reader to improve and the talent of writing is something very important.

Keep up the good work. ^_^

[jamal]

Thank you Fiery! I will work on the middle part :)

[rnuff]

WOW such an emotional read. I really enjoyed this write it's powerful

[jamal]

Thank you so much :)

[Frieda P]

This is such a strong and hopeful read,

'today I have new keys to open different part of the sky'

That really sums it up for me, I love that line....

[jamal]

thank you Frieda :) i am happy you like it!