Rain

I wish it would rain forever,

So you won't see me crying,
A flood embracing this whole world,
So you won't see me dying.

A wish this storm would roll on through,
And sweep us all away,
So pain can't tear my bitter heart,
Anymore today.

I won't run and I can't hide,
Just waiting here for God,
Or something deep and meaningful,
To break this weak facade.

Dripping hearts and bloody words,
Scattered on the floor,
A little hint of deja vu,
I've seen this place before.

Promised love and broken wings,
Of angels that can't fly,
Lost inside the lonely realm,
Of heavens toxic lie. 

Author's Note

tell me what you think....it might need work....

Reviews

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

This is a wonderful poem jazmyne. i feel, your best work yet. It flows, the rhymes work well with each stanza, and there is a deeper meaning behind it.

rain is a good analogy for sadness, and i like some lines in particular. I tried to find which ones, but there was so many! overall, I really like this poem. goes in my favorites.

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

Nice descriptions and visuals.

[Morgan A Lynch]

wow i cant belvie i missed this one. i love it.. it flowes great and there is a meaning behind evey word.. love it.

[These Haunted Hallways]

Nicee! It grips you from all ends of how painful life can be. Everything was flawless. I would change the 1st and 2nd stanza letters tho- both of them start with 'A'....i would put 'I.' Great hun :)

B.A.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Gosh Jaz this is powerful and very painful words... lately you have written some fantastic work and this is right there with the vest of them...

A wish it would rain forever,
So you won't see me crying,
A flood embracing this whole world,
So you won't see me dying.

This opening sequence grabs you from the start, brilliant stanza and the poem just gets better till the last line. Seriously great work.

[Michael V]

Jaz this is frekin brilliant. Very Good. I love everything about it, the mood is constant and apparent, the feelings are strong and solid, great work...
Very Very Good work.

[Dani California]

Wow!!!! You are blooming girl! Not that you needed to, but this one is def your best yet. It packs one heck of a painful punch!


"Dripping hearts and bloody words,
Scattered on the floor,
A little hint of deja vu,
I've seen this place before"

Excellent work! Excellent!