Key

Key

 

I sit in the park on a small grassy hill to bind myself.

The roots of the large oak whisper failed vows lost in the wind.

I am entranced by the obscure heavens above,

deciphering my bleak yet severe surroundings.

 

I hear children laughing, but  i do not laugh with them.

I see families walk hand in hand, but i do not walk with them.

 

My portrait is a kaleidoscope of shattered beauty,

forever changing the same colors: yellow, red, green, blue.

We are green with envy.

 

Green is the earth beneath our striding limbs,

the color upon which we thrive.

i am blue.

 

I lull in a ring of fire, loathing the idea of escape.

To step out means to be nude, cold, and vulnerable.

I am not complete.

 

My heart slowly pumps blood with the beat of sound.

Music drips through my fingertips onto the empty ground,

leaving a permanent lullaby.

 

To touch me means to leave me.

To see me means to be me.

To love me means to free me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I would appreciate your honest opinions, suggestions? errors?

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

Wow, this is great! Really, don't change much, I certainly wouldn't touch it.

"My heart slowly pumps blood with the beat of sound.
Music drips through my fingertips onto the empty ground,
leaving a permanent lullaby."

Personally, my favorite stanza. I wish I were in a mood of explanation, but I really am sort of brain dead at the moment. I do know, though, that this is quality poetry. Thanks for the friend request, and please, send me read requests whenever you feel like.

Have a nice day!

-Travis

[Valentine]

Leave it just as is..I read this and wham..I at times felt me and I was amazed by your descriptive write,,Nice write,,God bless..Keep them coming..Valentine

[Clarisse Nanoit]

LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT. This is absolutely fantastic, and I'm SO glad you entered it into my contest, but I must ask which picture you think it goes with... I don't know just from reading it, but I am intrigued to know. The picture you have, I think, suits it nicely. :) Thanks again for entering this fantastic piece, and maybe you could let your friends know about the contest??
KH

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very beautiful write. Thank you for sharing. debileah

[larryb]

So so nice, you have a talent dont change a thing............

[Emily B]

No suggestions. No errors as far as I can hear. Sound strange? I hear the words as I read them. That's how I usually notice flow and such.

This is simply beautiful. Going right in my favorites.

[Dani California]

This is absolutely fantastic! The last stanza is my favorite and the most powerful, however the entire piece is magnificent!

Green is the earth beneath our striding limbs,
the color upon which we thrive.
i am blue.

This struck me. Disconnected from everyone and everything....

Beautiful work Jackie!

[Karina]

i love the kaleidoscope imagery. just the mention of it early on keeps it there for the rest of the poem.
its great how your picture is alice in wonderland because this poem made me think of Through the Looking Glass

[Wildfleour]

You go, Jackie!!!!!!!!!

The roots of the large oak whisper failed vows lost in the wind. - i love that line!!!!!!