A Poem by Joshua McNay

Last night I had dinner with friends, normally get a table but got a booth instead and I felt uncomfortable all night. When I left I wrote this down in my anger and sadness. Trying to fix me, I guess.

I wish I could somehow harness how I feel at this moment.
Harness how I feel sitting in a booth at a restaurant
Harness how I feel trying on clothes
Harness how I feel searching for a larger size
Harness how unhappy I am at this moment
Harness how uncomfortable I feel
Harness the sadness that makes me go into a dark place
Harness that which takes the side of me I love and buries it
Once I harness it, then I can in turn channel it into something to be happy about
Not just forget it the following day
My memory isn't that bad, so why do I forget?
Do I just convince myself every time that I will do something?
In reality I do nothing and the feeling I should harness come back to haunt me once more
I'm afraid because I'm sad
Who can I talk to about this anymore?
Where can I turn when I feel all alone?
I get sad because I know I'm not alone but feel I am
I just wish I could harness that which I hate and turn it into something
Something to be proud of, something I can love
I don't know what sort of traumatic event in my life it will take to make it stick
This feeling I have needs to stay around, trust me I know that's sick
When the feeling fades I just end up hurting myself
When I feel the way I do right now, the horribleness makes me do better
Why is that the way it is? Why am I doing this to me?
There is a sadness I don't know how to overcome
Why am I so broken?

© 2016 Joshua McNay

Author's Note

Joshua McNay
Review if you like. I know if doesn't rhyme like my normal stuff. I wanted to try something different, free verse if you will. As always thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

My Review

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I really like this! It is a really good piece. I love how it doesn't really rhyme but it gets the point across with how you feel when you wrote it.

Posted 2 Years Ago

I feel your pain over having no control over things you feel you should be able to control. I've got really bad social anxiety and depression, relatable.
Anyway! It's a good piece! Seems to really express everything you were feeling in that moment and the frustration you feel. Looked like a good expressional piece

Posted 2 Years Ago

I like this idea a lot. Title and the thought of "harnessing" the feelings in this world are cool. It didn't quite flow and connect with me. Not becuz it didn't rhyme, just seemed a bit jumbled.

I look forward to reading your other work!

Posted 3 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Joshua McNay

3 Years Ago

I admittedly just wrote it while frustrated and just wanted to get it out. I wasn't thinking of a fl.. read more
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I'm no expert in this field but you have some good clear thought patterns happening here. I guess the next step would be to put thoughts into actions. Well done for expressing your feelings with such clarity.

Posted 3 Years Ago

Joshua McNay

3 Years Ago

Yeah putting the thoughts to actions in what seems to be tough for me. Thank you for the review!

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4 Reviews
Added on April 10, 2016
Last Updated on April 10, 2016


Joshua McNay
Joshua McNay

Grand Junction, CO

I write about a Little Red Fox, I hope you enjoy his adventures as much as I do! Thanks for stopping by and as always thank you for reading! Featuring art by Emily Chan, be sure to check her work o.. more..

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A Poem by Joshua McNay