Today Will Be My Last

Date Unknown

I felt your eyes on me

From the very beginning,

Before you even managed to spit out a gruff greeting

Which soon turned into a competition

Between you and yourself 

To see who could create the most vulgar compliments

I wanted not to hear of your misogyny

But you were not the kind of man

That would simply let me walk away

I was not as alone in the streets

As I had hoped I would be

For you never strayed from but a few steps behind me

If I were to move faster

You would too

And if I were to slow my pace

Your movements would mirror mine

Phone in hand,

911 already dialed just in case,

My heart lurched into my throat

Every ounce of courage in me

Simply did not amount to enough

To deter you from your damaging speech

When I turned the corner 

I saw the glint of a sharp knife

Nestled neatly between your brutish fingers

And at full spring I sprang

Wishing to be anywhere but by you

And knowing I could not lead you to my home

If I could even make it there at all

Fumbling in the dark

I make the call

The ring as the phone connected

Enough to make me quiver in anticipation

If only I had not waited

But no matter

In mere moments he is upon me,

My lungs screaming from strain

As I fight off my opponent from the very ground

I stood on just moments before

And with perhaps more sorrow

I listen as the voice

On the other end of the line

Calls out to me

My own voice,

Muffled at some point by roughness

And cannot and does not respond

My clothes being torn

By the metal wielding man

I had tried so desperately to escape

In his sloppy rush to undress me

My skin tears

The wind in my lungs

Knocked out of me with each punch to my gut

And thrust of his hips against mine

All I can think of

Is my own failure to protect myself

As I sink into a self-depricating feeling

I begin to grow cold

Perhaps from the chill

The crazed man's touch brings

Perhaps from the blood

That litters the grass beneath me

In a lightheaded daze

I hear the sound of distant sirens

Presumably coming to my rescue

And I realize the man

Is no longer with me

But my war is not over

I find myself afraid to close my eyes

But I am compelled to anyway

Believing that I may not open them again

Time will tell

In a swelling hush that warns me to my core

I rest

In wait

Overcome by self-loathing