Endless

My first post.

-Endless-

 

I have longed for love
But I never lack.
Perhaps an ounce of you
Way back when I was yours
Seemed enough
To show such affection
Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured-
A mark of rain’s abundance:

 

The withered leaves
Outlived the weeds around,
That I may brag for another day,
Another month,
Another year,
And though I fear,
Be it a lifetime
That I have loved,
And will always love
Until this heart speaks no more:

 

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried.

Author's Note

comments very much appreciated.
my first post.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

Oh, I get it now.. You have your own was of writing your poems in your own forms (Dumb me :P). I liked the lines

"Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured:
A mark of rain’s abundance"

Such flow in your words, like silk and wool. You've said this is your first post. But, is this your first poem? (I'm not bonkers, read it again :D :P) Because if this is really your first poem, I should be damned; I could never write such a nice first poem.

Kudos. Keep writing.

[54321]

Your first post indeed but definitely not your first poem. Amazing write! The way you tie up the end is spectacular. The word choice is absolutely perfect. I feel like it could flow smoother with more punctuation. I wasn't sure where to pause or where a new thought started until I read it a few times. Other than that it's a great first post!

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

pretty good for a first post I especially loved the last stanza......for it was dust waiting for your breath ....to have it carried. keep up the good work. looking forword to reading more.

[Rece Fantoma]

I really felt this... The second to last stanza, you can really feel...hmm... The passage of time as if it were a wound slowly opening. Whether you adore the scar or not.
Beautiful.

[Inci]

very nice..your first poem is worth reading....last line is very orignal

[Donna Marie Gray]

This could use a little smoothing out, but otherwise, has deep feeling. I like it.

[Tahna]

lovely write.
loved the last part; For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...


...to have it carried.

[Loner]

I dont believe this is yr first post this is awsome such depth and accurate measurment in the rythem wow iam impressed lovely piece.

[Dayna Ray]

Great first post, and welcome to the site. I am fairly new myself but I've noticed so far everyone has been really nice. Keep writing, your good at it.

[Closed Account]

This is really interesting. It flowed beautifully.

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath....
...to have it carried.

That's my favorite part. This was really beautiful. I can't wait to read something else by you :)

[Kiddx]

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried.

Love these words here, This is amazing write.