Endless

Endless

A Poem by J.S. Pua
"

My first post.

"

-Endless-

 

I have longed for love
But I never lack.
Perhaps an ounce of you
Way back when I was yours
Seemed enough
To show such affection
Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured-
A mark of rain’s abundance:

 

The withered leaves
Outlived the weeds around,
That I may brag for another day,
Another month,
Another year,
And though I fear,
Be it a lifetime
That I have loved,
And will always love
Until this heart speaks no more:

 

For it was dust,
Waiting for your breath...
...to have it carried.

© 2010 J.S. Pua


Author's Note

J.S. Pua
comments very much appreciated.
my first post.

My Review

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Featured Review

Oh, I get it now.. You have your own was of writing your poems in your own forms (Dumb me :P). I liked the lines

"Until now--
Not lessened
And have endured:
A mark of rain’s abundance"

Such flow in your words, like silk and wool. You've said this is your first post. But, is this your first poem? (I'm not bonkers, read it again :D :P) Because if this is really your first poem, I should be damned; I could never write such a nice first poem.

Kudos. Keep writing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Interesting thoughts about loss love using unusual metaphoric language and descriptiveness..Hope that there soon will be more of this poetic abundance from your heart available for us to read. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment on my work..I appreciate you doing that..Sunflower/Sara

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is such a beautiful, passionate, piece. I especially like the last three lines.
"For it was dust
Waiting for your breath
...to have it carried."

Posted 13 Years Ago


You're a very good poet. This is great. You should post some more poems so I can read them.

Posted 13 Years Ago


The rhyme is sublime...beautiful...a passionatewrite...specially how you ended up.

Posted 13 Years Ago


that is a perfect ending. I enjoy the way the poem moves
with the magical feel of love in different stages & the sense
of continued faith.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is very good! You have serious talent (:

Posted 13 Years Ago


Well written. This is quite beautiful. I really love the last eight lines. How wonderful what someone can put into words the way I've felt for a long time. Well written. I look forward to reading some new work!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very interesting work here. The rhyming scheme made the poem flow like a river over rocks. I really enjoyed the sentiments portrayed here as well. The last stanza was beautiful with imagery and feeling.

This is a great piece. Though, I believe in the second stanza, you meant to say "Until this heart speaks no more." Very beautiful, I say again. Keep writing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Some of the phrases don't seem to entirely make sense- not in writing sense, as this is poetry, but rather in a grammatical way. Also, the rhythm could use some work- the flow was inconsistent and distracting. Otherwise, I think this piece was quite good. The tone was very soft and sweet, tentative and almost fragile seeming. Well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Wow. Really great job. I loved it. =)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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1514 Views
60 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on July 1, 2010
Last Updated on July 26, 2010
Tags: love, romance, relationships, life, quetzal

Author

J.S. Pua
J.S. Pua

Philippines



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