A Whisper to the Silence

I am a ripple on your safe, still surface,
A disturbing craze that startles you.
You fear to see me completely.
Because I can shake you out of simplicity and it scares you.
Maybe you'd love it too much.

I understand that love isn't everlasting.
I know that your reasons to be distant are full as the moon tonight.
But my trembling heart is still young and needs to live a little more.
My tears are the only friends that understand me anymore.

I am a spot of color on your monochrome landscape.
A sliver of hope that sickens you.
You hate to want me near.
Because I am not like the other people and it worries you.
Maybe you'd love me too much.

I understand that love isn't everlasting.
I know that your reasons to be distant are full as the moon tonight.
But my trembling heart is still young and needs to live a little more.
My tears are the only friends that understand me anymore.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[DoormanDan]

All I have to say is wow. You most certainly have a very unique and powerful writing voice here on this website! This is a EXTREMELY clever poem/song you have written here! The idea of Silence actually fearing a Whisper, and the fact that a whisper would technically give Silence nightmares(if silence and whispers were personified) is such a simple one, and yet I can't think of anybody who has ever thought of it like that though. Color me impressed, VERY impressed by this piece. Not only are you a stunningly extraordinary writer, you have great taste in music as well! I'm speechless, really I am. :)

[Nyanachi]

Aw dear, that is very sweet of you. You give me a lot of hope and positivity. Thank you for your kind words.

[DoormanDan]

You're welcome :)

[Michael G. Smith]

It sounds like you could be an addiction? Jellycat... Jellycat... how are you doing? (Singing). I enjoy your far-out poetry.

[Davidgeo]

Another one.... ugh. You kids gotta find a new topic.

You write okay but it's very clichéd. A lot of your lines are mash ups of song lyrics and famous lines ("my trembling heart...." come on, you got heart disease or too much William Butler Yeats disease? Either way, it's not a good thing for your style or theme)

Functional but ultimately a tired emo tone on a tired emo topic.... C-, not very good.

[Nyanachi]

What was the "emo topic" exactly in your mind...I know that a few lines of it sounds emotional, but is it possible to read work that is dramatic while also understanding the positive meaning? if you read it all and make sense of it as a big picture, you will find that this poem is actually a hopeful poem, about people who do not speak to much to each other but love each other. I appreciate criticism, but only when its about what I actually wrote, not just complaining the topic that you fail to mention what it actually is...because I think you do not know what it is. If you have suggestions feel free to let me know what would make the work improve.

[Davidgeo]

I do and I will. I appreciate your relatively measured response.

[Michael G. Smith]

Love is an entity of emotion as if an apparition that haunts the hearts. I always enjoy your work and unique perspectives.

[Nyanachi]

thank you! :)

[jeannemarie coulter]

I am a ripple on your safe, still surface,
A disturbing craze that startles you.


I am a spot of color on your monochrome landscape.
A sliver of hope that sickens you.

the quoted lines really hooked me...they read like the music sounds...this is beautiful even to an old crone like me...well done, indeed...

[Nyanachi]

aw thank you so much!

[Amber Lily]

So sad and yet... so beautiful how their feelings are also accepted. To suffer in silence, many people do because they believe it's easier to make others happy that way. Just don't forget to live for yourself every now and then :)
An emotionally captivating poem that moves the heart.

[Nyanachi]

Thank you so much amber! :)

[Robert]

I enjoyed reading this piece but to be totally honest I'm at a loss of the meaning behind it. As a reader we don't always "need to know" the meaning behind work of others to respect and admire the work. It is written very nice I am just a simple person maybe that's just it. I will have to read more of your work .

[Nyanachi]

Its from my experience about someone who loved me, and how I felt when they stopped talking to me. Whisper to the Silence, is kind of my poem in which I was imagining why they were scared to talk to me on an honest level anymore. Sorry, yeah I didn't make it very clear because I don't like to get too personal, but there is still a way to stay clearer to the meaning. Thank you so much! you have opened my eyes to something I should work on :)

[Aries1984]

I'll be honest. I'm speechless. This is very intricately written. I'll have to read it a few more times to understand what the poem is saying to me. I love the artistry behind it.

[Nyanachi]

Thank you very much :) you are very kind

[AaronFreitas]

Wow! I can definitely relate to this write. "My tears are the only friends that understand me anymore." Those words especially! I love your style, love your thoughts and you are an awesome writer!

[Nyanachi]

:) thank you so much!!!