I Am Often Alone, I

i am often alone, i

lost within the walls of my mind

i run my fingers

along their pebbled surfaces

sensing their solitary nature

feeling the echo

within the smoother surfaces of my bones

i am often alone, i

within this quiet shell

tip-tapping to find the weak point

hoping to one day

crack through

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

This was so nice..again
Left alone ,lost within walls of my mind..what a lovely start..
I thinks its our habit we human to retreat back and like hide in a corner in mind walled
so thick and sheltered away from all..I think its like a defense mechanism..its fear
of whats going on outside..we build these walls for protection and safety and peace and warmth
only one day to discover that we have over done it..that some of the things we were hiding from were just made up
and fears ,some were just not soundly based..its not healthy,never really to do that..I think its always
lovely to go out and dare whatever come in our face..like adventurers and heroes we should never hide
but always to be out ,come what may..never to cower in the recess of our walls,but out and defy the world..come what may
lovely write..

[Periac]

here is a perfect tribute to being helpless but I find here a wonderful message....even though your assumed helpless....there is shadowed a sense of control with a "tip-tapping"......some would call this courage......another great write.......i am a mere jealous spectator

[Jonathan Ballam]

This is a wonderfully delicate, and thoughtful piece. One suggestion would be to take away the last line. Often we try and wrap up our writing in neat little packages with an ending. I prefer to end with a little ambiguity.

I say to most people (if it's a long poem), try hack off the last two lines, and try live with it for a while. Often endings aren't always fresh like our beginnings which are a lot more forgivable, imo.

Loved the image "smoother surfaces of my bones", really potent!

Good work ;)

[R J Askew]

Intensely intimate insight into an active mind seeking outlet. We value privacy yet also often crave attention. Getting a balance is sometimes difficult. All humans, or most need the attention of others to a greater or lesser degree. The delicacy of the tapping and the link with the tapping of a keyboard is marvellously acurate. We write our way out of the confines of our own selves, become more, turn our heads inside out for others to rummage through.

[R.D.Scott]

I like this piece as it speaks to me, I have often felt like this and in my opinion writing is always best when its honest. Good piece.

[deeps]

Very well expressive and very well written
I like ths flow of this.