Traveiling down a dark road!!!

This is kind of like a horror poem i get eaten by a vampire there... well let me know what you think

Traveling down a dark Road!!

I see myself traveling down this long black road,

I kept on walking,

As daylight passes by,

Oh what a joy,

It's getting darker, and darker,

I start to get scared,

There's no light to see,

I don't even got a flash light,

Oh man,

I'm really scared,

What should I do?

I see a man,

I call him over,

Asked him if there's any shelter anywhere for me to stay,

He wouldn't answer,

The old man just walked away,

I call out to him again,

He looked very upset,

He finally comes up to me,

His face was horrid looking,

His eyes were very bright and Red,

he looked like he had really sharp teeth,

Kind of like a vampire,

I get scared,

And I began to run,

Help me,

Help me,

I cry out,

But no help,

The old man catches up,

Attacks me,

Blood everywhere,

And I was dead.

The End ,

BY: Jennifer Little

Author's Note

just a horror flick poem lol... well just let me know what you think of it ...

Reviews

[Captain]

I really like this one. A little jagged in language, but in a good way. Adds character. Also a fan of the build up to the abrupt ending.
Well done.
'Captain

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. I like a good horror movie. I like the description of the trip and the bloody ending to the poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Pencrafter]

Actually, I do like this poem, except for the end. But that's me. I enjoy good endings. But dreams can be anything. The writing was easy to read and portrayed great emotion.

[Sleeping Maiden]

Oh wow.. how interesting.. such a twist! I love where you went with this!

[Sahar moonlight]

OH MY!
i was really imagining something else during the first half of the poem.
I thought he's the Angel Savior.
But it turned out to be the opposite :)
I liked that

[Tegon Maus]

Yikes !!

[TPK Stories]

good job....loved the blood and horror....

[Draven]

Its a good start, though it needs some work. I think that this is more of an outline. You should add in some more details and honestly, I think that this should be a short story rather than a poem. It would probably be better. But I like what you have.

[Trusting]

Well,now we see why the old man didn't want to come over in the first place:3

[Sugar Plum ♥]

oh that sounds so horrible like Horror movie! but very nice imaginary, and real as a story...