A Story by Jen Skinner

A journey towards self awareness

A shattered heart that is disregarded, a body exploited and abused, a soul critically wounded that will never be the same, and the spirit that holds strong, refusing to be broken. I stand here feeling a bizarre comfort in the silent solitude that seems to never leave my presence, for the path I have chosen to travel has been cursed by adversity and sorrow. With an astonishing sense of familiarity of this reality as the seclusiveness and alienation becomes the only concepts I understand and trust, for these are the only things I can depend on to stay true and unchanging. 
As I'm struck with the painful realization that I have indeed, locked myself in my own prison. Built out of havoc and self destruction, it is the labyrinth of my torment and misery. I'm alone, deserted and unaided struggling to find my way through this winding web of entanglement conjured by the hauntings of my wounded and acheing past. I push forward with only my instincts to guide me and my shadow as my compainion.  I have gone too far to turn back so I will continue this quest to find an escape from this place of misery and find the peace of mind I have desired for so long.
 Evil lurking around every corner with Demons cloaked and crouched in every shadow, I begin to recognize the Evil I must fight as my own,  while confronting Demons conjured from the destruction of my past . I now know this dangerous and deadly conquest is mine alone to over come.
So I causiously advance further into this confusing trap set by fate. Through this prison constructed maze I have forged, encompassing myself in the Hell of my own reality.  I become aware of the lost souls trapped in this horror. Doomed to wander this place of torment for all eternity, as their time for escape has ran out. This is what fears me the most. As I proceed to find my freedom I begin to analyze these creatures of torment, then it becomes clear. I become more aware of this nightmare I have damned myself to, I commence to acknowledge the strategic design and logic in this plan.
In that moment of clarity I realized, in order to survive and succeed this labyrinth of suffering, I must not conform to the acceptance of general society. It is the blind leading the blind, the weak-minded and timid souls bound by their own invalidity and fear. Forever void of the freedom and happiness they themselves chose to give up. They have become more concerned with judging and criticizing others, they've lost sight of who they are and their true purpose in this life . So involved in the superficial, their sense of time has faded as well. We are blessed with only one life and when your time is up, there is no second chance. For this; they have imprisoned themselves in their own misery for all eternity.
 Now with the knowledge and insight of this design,  I will continue forward on my mission. Following the path less traveled,  with solitude my only companion. After conquering Hell and winning my freedom and happiness, I will know that the silent loneliness and alienation I have endured, be the lesson learned that would saved me in the end.
-JS- 1/22/2013

© 2013 Jen Skinner

Author's Note

Jen Skinner
Please excuse grammar, spelling and punctuation

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Added on January 22, 2013
Last Updated on January 22, 2013
Tags: Deep, dark, creative, memoir, self-realization, nonfiction


Jen Skinner
Jen Skinner

Houston, TX

I'm 29 years old and was recently diagnosed with PTSD. The doctor suggested I start writing as a means of therapy, I soon realized I had a talent for it and really enjoyed doing it. I mainly write cre.. more..

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