You Say It Was Just A Kiss, And I Say Baby You're My Judas.

You Say It Was Just A Kiss, And I Say Baby You're My Judas.

A Poem by jumbie's #1 fan
"

omission is betrayal. so is kissing another girl when your girl is pregnant and you're supposed to get married...dick.

"
The pain of betrayal is searing
Like sticking my face into flames
Letting it lick my skin
Spreading your lies into my flesh
Again

Why is it always the same with you?
Why can't you make up your f*****g mind?
You're a liar
You're a manipulator
You're a cheater
And you're the man I fell for
The man that's supposed to marry me
The man that's supposed to be a father  to this baby inside of me

And you threw us away
You threw us away like yesterday's trash
You didn't care
Because if you did
You wouldn't have done it

You've broken me before
Time and time again
And you wonder why
I'm not the girl you used to know
Because you broke me
YOU turned me into this

And now all I want is to die
I wish I hadn't fallen for you
I wish you would grow the f**k up

You say you're sorry
And I believe you
But that's what you always say
You say you won't hurt me
And then you do

Your words mean nothing to me
I'm tired of you saying the same s**t
Yet f*****g me over

I hate that you turned me into a fool
That I look like an idiot for ever thinking you were good
Because right now, you're a danger
A danger to my health
And a danger to my baby

Because this pain I'm in
Is hurting me
And hurting my baby
And all you can say is you're sorry
And you love me
And you fucked up
And now you're sure
You want to marry me

It's the same old ring around this rosie
But you carry flames in your pockets
Instead of posies
You poison me with your lies
And your s**t
And I'm sick of it

And what's so sad
Is that I know there's good in you
And I know how amazing you used to be
And I still love you
But you're a monster
Betrayer
Cheater
Liar
Faker

I really don't know if we can make it
Because right now I feel like s**t
And you don't deserve grace
I'm disgusted by your face

And you say it was only a kiss
Shouldn't mean so much
You were honest
So that makes it okay?
No f*****g way.

You were away for a week
Outta mind
Outta f*****g sight
Everyone was right
Saying I was stupid
For letting you back into my life
Claiming you were ready to make me your wife

Instead I feel like your little toy
Using me and wasting me away
You horrible little boy

I am filled with so much anger
So much hate towards you
Even though me hating you
Is so not true

I know you're not worthless
And I know that a lot of times I'm a b***h
And I'm not the same
Like I used to be
But baby
You've used me
And I really don't have the strength to carry on
I can't be a little pawn
In your schemes
Turning my dreams
Into nightmares
Because now I'm scared
And I don't know where to go
I just really don't know
If you'll ever change
Or if this is who you really are
Have you fallen too far
To be saved
Because my heart is enslaved
And I KNOW there's good in you
And I KNOW you are the man I've wanted
You're all I ever wanted
But you betrayed me
Broke my heart
And I'm afraid
You'll destroy the last part
Of me
Leaving me dead in the streets
I don't know how to believe you
How to have faith in you
Because everytime I do
I come up empty handed
And left with nothing
And I feel like nothing
I feel like I mean nothing to you
That our child means nothing to you
And I fear for the future
I fear for our baby
I won't let you hurt us anymore

I know I'm not stupid for knowing there is good in you
That is simply not true
But you have an evil deceptive side
And I've seen it much more than I like
You're lost
And I need you to be found
Because I can't keep this monster around
And if you can't contain it
And not willing to try
You need to let us die

It's gonna be hard
This next month
You're not going to like me
You're going to want to give up
But I need to know if you can endure enough
And still say you love me
No matter how angry I am
No matter what I say
Even if I'm horrible every single day
Personally I don't think you can do it
I really don't
You say you'd go through hell for me
You're gonna have to baby
And I hate being mad
And I hate being angry
But I feel that if I'm not
You'd get away with it
Like you always do

But you're not the only one who has problems
I realize now
I have NEVER had this much anger and revenge in my heart
Until now
Your monster
Spawned a monster of my own
A side of me that's never been shown
I shouldn't want to punish you
I shouldn't want you to feel pain
But I do
And I shouldn't want to
But you
You did this to me!
And now I have to choose
I have to choose our fate
Whether or not I can be like Jesus
And forgive
Or forever hate.

© 2011 jumbie's #1 fan


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Reviews

This is excellent, I loved it. I really enjoy the first stanza, lovely imagery. You capture the pain of love betrayed beautifully!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on June 29, 2011
Last Updated on June 29, 2011

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jumbie's #1 fan
jumbie's #1 fan

Norman, OK



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All my life, writing has been the one thing I've been good at. Of course, that's an opinion, and it depends on your tastes. Throughout everything in my semi-short life, writing is the one thing that c.. more..

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A Poem by jumbie's #1 fan