loss and gain

I wrote this poem a while back for an english project. It got a really high score, and I'm just wanting to see if it's as good as she said it was

I pick up the ringing phone thinking your voice will be on the other line
It’s not though, and it never will be

What feels like an eternity later,
the phone rings again,
I crumple to the floor, tears stream down my face,
you’re gone

At the funeral, my eulogy for you ends,
Most people are crying halfway through

On the outside I’m calm, and I speak of you with a smile,
On the inside I ache, and I think of you with sadness

It’s after the funeral that I meet her,
Later on I find out she’s your sister

I wipe more tears away from my eyes,
She tells me how her brother was killed in the war you died in

After that instant, I gain a little sister

Reviews

[Tai-San]

This is so good. It made me cry. oh my goodness. i think you are a great writter. this is extremley powerful. makes me remember....
Well...its just really really really good.