Fade

 

 

Varicose Fade

 

 

 

Fell down into a metallic world,

Disillusioned faces staring back at me,

I’m a stranger in a strange land

 

Red lights blast the sky into nothingness,

As dark visions of you fill my mind,

I embrace your memory as you fade away

 

A past full of happiness and sorrow,

Eventually turns into anger and fear and hatred,

And now becomes this present day tragedy

 

Walls and buildings of nothingness drown my mind,

As a fallen angel sees the fake delights,

Provided with the prick of a needle on bare flesh

 

Euphorically nightmarish delusions trace points,

A constellation on my arms,

Signifying stories of escape and fatal endings

 

Many others join me,

But none speak to me,

For I am forever alone

 

Cold wet nights beat my body into numbness,

As once again a story begins,

Forever I travel up and down life’s eternal spiral staircase

 

This city that was once good,

Now is forever a monster,

A living prison of concrete and steel

 

The poison in me finally takes effect,

A forever enduring feeling of acceptance,

As varicose veins are altered to reach my conclusion

 

An ending full of discovery, downfall, and the final descent into a painful afterlife

 

 

Aggressive Fade

 

 

 

 

Bloodied nails scrape along the wall,

Blood-red eyes witness as silent torture is committed

 

Crazed hands crawl over a silent body,

As once more a rhythmic tango begins

 

Weak frail hands struggle to prevent unholy violation,

As once more the aggressor strikes

 

In a drugged up weakened state she watches in horror,

As once more pleasure is derived,

From the most vicious of deeds

 

As what began an hour ago still continues,

Alcohol and drugs fueling rage driven lust

 

In the most vile and revolting of cheap downtown motel rooms,

The most terrible of injustices is committed against so innocent a mind

 

As a last attempt to at least reduce this horrific sensation,

She looks out the window to the corpse of a stranger

Undoubtedly a death caused by the needle

 

Peaceful Fade

 

In an unnamed grave,

Rests the body of a young man

 

Though I did not know him,

Feelings of an unusual bond do develop

 

That one night our eyes met through the window,

It almost felt as if we both knew what the other was going through,

In its own strange sick and twisted way

 

Though different events occurred to each of us that night,

We both suffered a form of violation

 

As the bright sun casts the front of the grave in shadows,

I leave flowers on the grave,

Hoping that he found what he was looking for

 The Violent Death of Delia Crade

 

Cold silver digs into my chest,

The subway roars by my exposed form,

Hands tug and pull to hide me as I shout your killing name,

 

Your nails dig into my eyes,

Flashes of pain accompany the darkness that swallows me,

The abandoned subway station is dark and cold

 

Still I scream,

Begging for anyone to hear

 

I struggle,

Begging for someone to notice

 

After an hour I give in,

The cold floor embraces me,

I let go

 

Delia’s Rose

 

Each New Years day,

As celebration of both her birthday and death,

Delia Crade was left a rose by a family member

 

The lonely grave gave no hint,

Of the violent death Delia suffered,

Or the killer who still continued his pursuit of the innocent

 

This New Years’ eve,

Almost ten years after her death,

A rose suddenly burst out of the soil and snow,

As above her grave a man slowly died,

Thorny vines covering him,

Cutting into flesh as if it was paper

 

The rose fully formed in a matter of minutes,

And for a second it brightened,

A single light piercing the dark cemetery,

As at last vengeance was taken,

And a soul finally gained peace

 

At the start of the morning the body disappeared,

Seemingly vanishing in those few hours

 

A week later,

A newspaper is thrown onto the sidewalk outside the cemetary,

It's caption is very simple:

 

"Knife By Night Serial Killer Stops Spree"

 

Past Fade

 

Bell rings,

Lunch starts,

I swim amidst a sea of walkers

 

Up the steps,

In front of the Music room,

I stop

 

Panic and anxiety hold me down,

As I drown in memories,

Reminders of a previous school and a previous life slowly kill my mind

 

Down the steps,

Quickly now,

Can’t stop can’t stop can’t stop can’t stop

 

Breathing speeds up,

I slow down,

My mind once again goes black,

A grim reaper’s shadow hangs over my sanity

 

A beautiful key,

To an ugly door,

Opening my mind to all past mistakes

 

I quickly walk to my usual place,

Cold floor against a cold locker

 

In my worst day,

One of the last days of school,

I choke back sobs as tears stream down my face

 

Outside the sky is bright blue,

The sun shines through the windows,

But inside my soul it always remains cold

 

I explore the memories,

Attempting to find the missing link between them and this school,

I find none

 

Hours Later

 

Home,

My safe place,

My sanctuary

 

The T.V. blasts gunshots past my ears,

While soothing music fills my head

 

I patiently wait while more memories stream in,

Though they are not my own

 

Vivid pictures

 

Knife in a dark room,

A subway train passes by

 

A dirty hotel room,

Weak hands struggle against hands so strong

 

A needle sliding into an arm,

Stories and wonderful imaginings produced through constellations

 

Weariness sets in,

I shuffle off to bed,

Letting my own memories kill me

 

Reviews

[Lynx]

This is really beautiful, and I know you'd sent me the read request ages ago. But... well, it was sort of long, and quite deep, xD truth be told it was a bit hard for me to understand, I haven't been able to think poetically for a while.

Anyway... I really loved the last five parts, especially "Peaceful Fade" and "Delia's Rose". This is like, sort of a maccabre/haunting/beautiful type poem that I rarely find anymore. Thanks alot for sharing and... if you would, or had the time, please try to explain some parts to me, what you really wanted to convey in this poem. Lolz. Anyway, wonderful work.

[Ruth]

Epic proportion here!
This reads as a deeply unsettling piece and yet holds such empathy and compassion also! I was so taken with it, a fav and 100 lol
Intelligent work, mind blowing xoxo

[Elana Juli Royson]

This is a very powerful write. I hope this didn't actually happen to anyone you know. The flow was great as was the word choice making this into a very powerful piece. Wonderful job with this. Keep writing!

[Jo]

Wow, as someone already said, the visual deliverance is absolute brilliance. And despite the anguish tone of this, there really is a subtle form of beauty beneath in. Utterly outstanding! Makes me what what exactly you saw in downtown Vancouver. . .

[Samuel Nerdlpants]

s**t, this is a work of majesty

[Brittany]

This has a feel of a modern-day Camus/Jacob's Ladder.

The visual deliverance you have with this poem is stunning, and the comparison of constellations and needle-pricks signifying stories is... pure brilliance.

This is a painful piece, but one can not help but find the under-stated beauty within it.