MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING

A Poem by Jess
"

MONEY CAN'T BUY HAPPINESS

"
        
                                    MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING


                             I pity folk with loads of dough:
                             They make me sad,because I know,
                             Whatever riches they possess
                             Their money won't buy happiness

                             I see them in their costly cars,
                             Puffing away on choice cigars,
                             And grieve that not a single one
                             Can possibly be having fun

                              Around their swimming pools they lie,
                              Having rotten time,while I,
                              Can use the public beach,and share
                              My pleasure with the thousands there

                              How bored they must become,with things
                              Liked duck,champagne,and plovers wing
                              How they must long to steal away
                              And eat like me at Jheis Cafe'
                         
                              How sad it is that they cannot
                              Buy happiness with all they've got
                              And how sincerely I regret
                              They haven't found it out as yet.

© 2012 Jess


Author's Note

Jess
i need honest review please:)

My Review

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Reviews

khicks,

You almost have me convinced; almost. Here's why. I don't believe all rich folk are unhappy, having a rotten time, bored and desire to eat at Jheis Cafe'. Probably a lot of them are putting on a facade but not all. A lot depends upon their individual circumstances and attitude.

I believe there are a lot of rich people who enjoy their luxuries. That being said, I believe you could say 'I pity some folk with loads of dough' and then I would believe you.

Also to a certain extent money can buy happiness; depending on the commodity and purpose.

However, I believe I know what you are trying to get across to your audience. A person doesn't have to be rich to be happy and live a fulfilling life. And that you pity people who believe that they do. Thus yor title "Money Isn't Everything'.

So I propose that you do a rewrite without using a blanket statement that states that all rich people are unhappy. With your talent and writing ability I know that you can recreate this very good poem.

I want you to know that this review isn't easy. Because you are talented and a good writer I don't want to discourage you. My problem is that I can be over analytical. What you have written is fine. It's just that I know some rich people who are very happy; genuinely. They enjoy all the things you wrote about except the cigars. So to me, your poem isn't entirely true. On the other hand, I know some wealthy people who are miserable like you describe in you poem; for them your poem is spot on.

I hope I have been helpful without being overbearing. I am honored to know you and feel priviledged to read you wonderful and enlightening writing. I have learned from you and it will make me a better writer. Thank you.

Sincerely, Cecil

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jess

11 Years Ago

Dear Cecil,
Thank you for being so analytical in your review..You helped me to ana.. read more
CecilA

11 Years Ago

Suggestion: write your prose and poetry in Tagalog first. Then edit it in your Talalog dialect while.. read more
Ha, so true...tells it like it is. Glad to see you appreciate the simple things in life, like writing a lovely poem about it. Nice read, kudos.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I'll be honest with you ..,,,,,



your work is awesome!
I love the idea that you write about the true happiness!

that is what we(poor people) must feel that "Even we do not have enough money,we can still be happy"

hands down to you my friend!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jess

11 Years Ago

hahahaha:)glad you liked it my friend..yes!!your definitely right.!!!
Wonderful and makes you think of how the other half lives and feels.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jess

11 Years Ago

thanks:)i am just being sensitive to my sorroundings because i know that there are things that are n.. read more
Bound In Red

11 Years Ago

very true and tragic.
Jess

11 Years Ago

yeah your right:(no matter how we [poor people] tried to experience equality,,its very impossible!

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2391 Views
4 Reviews
Added on December 11, 2012
Last Updated on December 11, 2012
Tags: riches, regrets

Author

Jess
Jess

Legazpi, Bicol Region, Philippines



About
AB JOURNALISM graduate Bicol University, Legazpi City Albay,Philippines Manunula/t. Paradox. Deep. more..

Writing
REGRETS REGRETS

A Poem by Jess