Just to Say

A birthday gift for Free2bee posted with her kind permission.

 

Just To Say

Jim Vires

 

Relationships that are in flux always present such challenges at this time of the year. Thank Hallmark for ecards. I was able to send a Christmas wish that was not intrusive. It wasn’t like she had to open the mailbox and see my handwriting on a physical card. Look at all those decisions she would have had to make. Does she open it or throw it away? If she opens it what if I wrote comments that can seem innocent, but are hurtful to a person trying to move forward at a time of year prone to memories? Yep, ecard was the way to go. She can open it or hit delete. She can open it, read it and then hit delete. Or she can save it. It is as it should be her choice. It was a great option to have for a holiday.

 

Her birthday is approaching and it is such a personal milestone. Sure I can, and probably will send an ecard, just for the reasons I stated above. It just doesn’t seem like enough of an acknowledgement though for a person who is special in my life. A gift is out because I am still doing that crazy dance between love, lust and friendship. Hell, I could never choose a gift for her anyway. I agonize over what hug to send her on Facebook. I don’t like to send her anything with a heart in it because part of me really wants to send her anything with a heart in it.

 

So I am sending her the only gift I have to offer. These are my words telling her how much she has changed my life.

 

You were the first person who ever took the time to find the person I am under the surface. You know every secret of my heart. You know my motivations and intents. You have gazed upon my soul without judgment. You kept it a two way street. You trusted me enough to allow me access to the inner workings and desires that make you the person that you are. I hope you understand how much you changed my life by doing this.

 

You gave me the courage to openly share who I am without fear of judgment. I know that whatever anyone else may think of me, there is at least one person who accepts the person that I am. I wouldn’t be pursuing my dream of being a writer without that gift. By trusting me enough to share yourself with me you gave me the desire to be honorable to that trust. Honor is a trait I highly value. Thank you for showing me a path that leads to me being a more honorable man.

 

I know right now we are in the middle of an awkward transition. Ok, my side of the street, at times our relationship feels awkward to me. But I do have a birthday gift for you. I want you to know the positive impact you made on my life by just being you. I also have a birthday wish for you. I hope the coming year brings you the vistas you see in your inner mind when at moments of peace. Happy Birthday Karen.

 

I have one more wish but this is a selfish one for me. I wish this time next year sees us as BFF’s.    

Reviews

[A.j.]

Wow, these words are so very powerful because they have real heart behind them...and a man with some Vicious typing fingers, of course. This piece moves me to say that I'm glad you found your dream and that it is to write. You definitely have a way of touching people with your words. So, if there is someone out there who helped you realize this dream, props to her! She deserves such a wonderful gift.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

Jim, you have expressed yourself with heart-felt, beautiful words. Thanks for sharing this essay with all of us. I hope that 2009 brings happiness and peace to you and to Free2bee.

[cyanskye]

This is a well thought-out essay. You follow a general thought with more substantial information. Your phrasing is effective in it's tone and simplicity. And:
What a wonderful sentiment. I think it is easy for us to forget how much the people in our lives truly do affect us. I hope that your birthday girl has a wonderful day and that you, too, get your wish.

[Dianne]

What an awesome tribute to a very important relationship. You show by example how to keep the best of a growing and changing relationship rather than loosing it all you are guaranteed to retain at the very least the wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing this road map to success with me.

[Becca]

Yin, In your wisdom, you have passed the gift that Karen has given you to all who are fortunate enough to meet you. In a sense, what you have given me was passed down from Karen. You have the wisdom to know that to keep it, one must give it away. And giveaway you do.
In the end...it was all inside of you anyway.
Whatever path the two of you travel, know that you each have touched my life in a profound way. For that I am eternally grateful to you both.
Beautiful tribute my friend.

[Lexie James]

Very powerful piece. Absolutely love this. So honest and heart warming. Thank you for sharing such a personal gift.
Lexie

[Nazarea]

Yin, this was amazing. You are so honest with your writing, and reading this, I am reminded of that. You've captured the ending of a relationship so perfectly. Thank you, as always, for sharing your words with me....
N~