Just so you know

Just so you know

A Poem by MrBooyay

If I was a boy, what could I do?
But sit around and think of you.
To  reminisce, of days gone by,
Of when you wanted me by your side.
But alas you see, I have grown old,
And will not waste time, on things unknown.
The present is now, what parts us miles,
But don't think I've forgotten, your beautiful smile.
And though our union no longer exists,

know that I bear no resentment towards our tryst.

© 2013 MrBooyay


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Featured Review

The ending threw me off here. I understand the point and I imagine you couldn't find a synonym for bitter that would go well with together.

"Though our union no longer exists,
I bear no resentment towards our tryst."

This might work better and you could possibly continue on with the poem as well.

Other than that the poem flowed exceptionally well. Even the word "Unknown" seems to fit somehow.

My only suggestion is remedying that ending. Unless you like it, than by all means keep it.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MrBooyay

5 Years Ago

Thanks! that's a valid point...I'll change it
Patrick Gerlits

5 Years Ago

I like the ending hehe.



Reviews

Though simple and short, you were able to tell a story with feelings and emotions I'm sure most people have experienced. Very nice.

Posted 5 Years Ago


It's a good poem, but the wording could've been better...

Posted 5 Years Ago


The ending threw me off here. I understand the point and I imagine you couldn't find a synonym for bitter that would go well with together.

"Though our union no longer exists,
I bear no resentment towards our tryst."

This might work better and you could possibly continue on with the poem as well.

Other than that the poem flowed exceptionally well. Even the word "Unknown" seems to fit somehow.

My only suggestion is remedying that ending. Unless you like it, than by all means keep it.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MrBooyay

5 Years Ago

Thanks! that's a valid point...I'll change it
Patrick Gerlits

5 Years Ago

I like the ending hehe.
A poem of longing and deepness. i find it very romantic. i love how you express yourself with such creativity. hope to read more from you.

Posted 5 Years Ago



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4 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 27, 2013
Last Updated on December 7, 2013
Tags: forgiven, note, letter, past, relationships

Author

MrBooyay
MrBooyay

Fresno, CA



About
I've written poetry on and off my whole life, and i'm trying to get back into a more constant writing habit. I know it's far from good, but that's why i'm counting on other users to give me some feedb.. more..

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