Internet Trolls

Internet Trolls

A Story by The Watcher
"

My description of trolls.

"
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Dietrich Goff
Heinrich Von Meyerstraud
Hotstuff

Troll (noun)

One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.

Oh boy do I have a huge f*****g public announcement for you today: Internet Trolls
If you've ever used a message board, forum, or blog, chances are good that you've met one of these misfits or at least seen one in the open. These morons (usually) are immature and/or jealous brats who have nothing better to do with their lives than to sit in front of computer monitors and cause total disorder all over the interwebz in order to make themselves feel more "kewl" or to gain "lulz points". They are no different than IRL verbal bullies, except that they don't have a face to punch or deform (unless you can reach through their screens). Noobs and Campers have often been mistaken for Trolls, but they do share some defining characteristics. Trolls, by definition, are morons with a purpose. Noobs, on the other hand, are morons. Campers are only found in online multiplayer games, but their bullshit ambush techniques easily give others the impression that they are gaming trolls.

Their natural habitats include but are not limited to...
1) 4chan
2) GameFAQs
3) Newgrounds
4) Encyclopedia Dramatica
5) And a crapload of other websites...

Their primary food sources are...
1) Noobs
2) Victim's rage and discomfort
3) Noobs
4) Ice Cream
5) Noobs
6) Noobs
7) Meatspin.com
8) Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft Fanboys
9) Super Smash Bros Fanboys
10) Noobs
11) Attention
12) Noobs
13) B***s Noobs
14) Noobs
15) Noobs
16) C**k  n' Balls  "Sausage"
17) Noobs, and...
18) Internet Rage

Gaming Trolls can be found on the online features of these games...
1) Super Smash Bros Brawl
2) Call of Duty
3) Modern Warfare
4) Mario Kart
5) Halo, and...
6) Any other popular game that has online multiplayer

How a Troll Attacks
1) Direct Insults
2) Indirect Insults
3) "YO MAMA" Jokes
4) Raciest Jokes
5) Bragging
6) Weegee
7) Blue Shell
8) Lying
9) Politics, and...
10) Anything that pisses you off

How to Battle a Troll
1) Ignore Him
2) Troll Back
3) Be Calm
4) Google "how to battle a troll"
5) LAWL at him
6) Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick
7) Falcon Punch
8) Shoop da Whoop
9) Viagra
10) Bitchslaps, and...
11) Doing whatever the heck you do with IRL bullies.

Points To Remember
1) Don't even bother trying to reason with a troll. It's impossible to reason with brain-dead morons.
2) Don't rage. This is troll food. Don't feed the trolls.
3) Don't be Nice/Considerate. I tried this once on GameFAQs. Doesn't work for crap.
4) If possible, IGNORE/BLOCK THEM. This is the best way to dispose of your troll problem.

What to Do if you See Someone Being Trolled
1) Lawl at them.
2) Send them a link to this article. (much preferred!)

Thanks for reading!



http://www.writerscafe.org/uploads/rte/e8a878d990d2ea39636f014f5da310d6.jpg
The widespread symbol of trolling.


http://www.writerscafe.org/uploads/rte/3c03ba213e70c4b19932993f6711aecd.jpg
A Troll's best friend in Mario Kart

---

https://www.youtube.com/user/JMeister18

© 2018 The Watcher


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Reviews

LOL. I totally loved this + loved all the images because they made me laugh more than I already had! Good job and keep up the great work!

Sincerely, Violet Stone

Posted 6 Years Ago


Nice useful troll knowledge :).

Hence forth I will be able to defend myself from Troll
Thank you Lost Watcher

Posted 6 Years Ago


I prefer the ignore/block method. You just can't reason with a troll.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Trolololololol.

Nice :) Made me giggle.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Oh. My. Gosh. THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! And very useful. Hehe.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Pax
awesome fun read and educational too !!!!



Posted 7 Years Ago


haha oh my gosh I loved thisXD may come in handy some day:D


Posted 7 Years Ago


Great write XD
100/100


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Watcher

7 Years Ago

Thanks!
Interesting . . . I've run across a few of these myself

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Watcher

7 Years Ago

They are very annoying... Thanks for the review

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1088 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 16, 2012
Last Updated on July 9, 2018
Tags: Trolls, Jerks, Twerps, Assholes, Losers, Bullies, Queers, Dummies, Creeps


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