The Last Of My Hope

augh. it sucks.

I knew my feelings for you were pure

There was nothing that could make me feel so sure

As i approached your smiling face

All in the beauty and grace

She approached you also

That one innocent move made me feel my heart fall, so

I thought it was just an ignorant game

But as the truth made me hide away in shame

I was your marionette, you tugging at my strings

Me, you, and our happy things

Life was good, all was well

My mind was ringing like a cheerful bell

But, soon enough, the strings snapped

And she clapped

in delight, and skipped away

With you, leaving me in dismay

You and her

Her and you

smiling, laughing, and away you two flew

Leaving me here in the dirt

My body all smashed and hurt

You snipped my strings without regret

Her shameful act i will not forget

I lay here, wondering what every made me fall for you

was it your charm? or your deep eyes so blue?

I cry here, in the dirt, feeling like a dope

And i think to myself, "There goes my last hope"

Author's Note

Based on a real life story -.-

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Hope is neverending, wish for someone better with, no strings attached. Very nice Jordyn, I've probably sat in that same dirt at sometime myself. Stand up, brush yourself off and hold your head up high. I hope better things are around the corner.

Great job.
Antonio

[Mauricio Montoya]

I know the feeling it hurts but you did a great job putting this piece together, getting those feeling out and moving on.
Excellent write.

[Alfred]

There is only 1 word i can think of when finish reading this. Amazing. u really did a good job with this poem. keep going, hope to read even more poems by you.

[ghostcar]

This one really moved me, i'm sure somewhere in my past I went through this. Anyway I noticed you seem to be pushing the rhyme more than is needed.

Instead, try concentrating solely on depth like in the parts that do not rhyme at all. Those resonate and move.
Nice piece.

[Orlando Murcia]

There is a difference between love and lust

Some of us see lust covered in love

Infatuation is a chocolate covered strawberry

Love is nothing but the real thing

It needs no covering


Great write

[St.Jimmy]

the poem is amazing!
I loved it
it's really hard to bear when someone who you love falls in love with other
it's not very odd situation but it gives us so much of pain and takes away all the hope
the poem really has a great rhyme scheme it's simple but i loved it :D
Keep up the good work
~Aaradhya

[Koala]

This seriously is wonderful O_O For some reason, the idea of a marionette is pretty good for this theme. :D