Seeking Strength p5

Seeking Strength p5

A Story by Ramza

I'm serious about training. Parts will be added weekly from now on, I hope you enjoy reading and take maybe a minute to constructively comment/critique. Also, if you want me to read something of yours lemme know!


            Standing right in front of the tree I took a big whiff of its presence, and it was incontrovertibly what I had come in contact with a moment ago. I decided to sit under the tree for a bit, allowing by back and head to rest against the thick, yet comfortable trunk. I folded my arms behind my head and allowed for my legs to enjoy the enormous space. I closed my eyes and allowed the exquisite moment to rest on my palette. Then a thought hit me “How the heck am I supposed to get back?!”

            A few things immediately came to mind; one was that I had my first couple of thoughts after escaping from the cave, the other being a something along the lines of “That jerk Stuhl could have told me how to get back once I went through!”

            I really wish I’d thought about this sort of thing before I went through the damn cave. Well, at least I’ve made it through. I should just enjoy the moment for now before I have to go back. I ran my right hand through the long strands of my greasy, unwashed raven hair. I really need to get this cut. Two years without a haircut, it’s really unsurprisingly long.

            My thoughts continued to bustle around my mind like crazed villagers. When I’d had my fill of the tranquility, and after devouring a Llenado flower that was in my pocket, I resolved to think seriously about a route to take. “Hmm… What to do, what to do? I can always go back through the cave again. Then again it was tough just going through once. Well, I guess it’d be added practice for me. Well it’s decided then, back through the cave I go!”

            I rose from the shade of the peculiarly colored tree, stretched for a few seconds and headed back the way I’d came. I stood at where I’d exited from the cave, and my heart raced a bit, in fear, maybe excitement, or a combination of the two. I inhaled deeply and stepped foot into the cave. It was no longer resembled the inky gleam of hopelessness; it was partially lit. By this I don’t mean that a few stray lines of the sun’s rays managed to wander in, it was something else completely. I could see a path leading out to the other end, more than likely the same path I’d stumbled through when I was entering. “That’s odd”, I commented aloud.

            Even stranger to me was the fact that I could actually hear in this place. I didn’t question it, because from the start I knew it would be no regular cave. If the cave was just like the billions of others in the world there would be no point in Stuhl instructing me to go into this specific one.

As I walked along the path, I noticed the interior walls were a distinct dried blood color. There were no odors dancing in the air, it was just plain, cold, cave air. Every step along the path delivered a low, slightly annoying crunching sound, like dead leaves. I craned my neck upwards only to see extremely low hanging stalactites; if I were another two feet taller my scalp would be scraping against them. Soon enough my adventure in the Cave of Alignment came to a close as the warm outer world greeted me with sweet summer breezes, bird songs, and an angry rabid squirrel that appeared from nothingness as I hiked up the hill.

Getting back to Stuhl’s hut was far from a difficult task; I took the appropriate lefts and rights, navigated via the sun’s position, and effortlessly made it back to the master’s hut. Even at noon Stuhl’s village had very few people out. A few children my age ran around playing together, living out their lives the way it was written. I waved to them, and they returned my gesture offering a smile as well. At the very far end of the village was Stuhl’s home, it was not in a far off secluded area, as many hermits tend to live. However, it was not smack in the middle of the village for all to walk by.

I calmly walked over to the hut, all the while shooting my head left and right to examine the other houses. Some were brick houses with chimneys, others were cabin-like made from some of the toughest oak trees, it was a rather ordinary village to say the least. Some houses were as red as the bricks it took to make them, some were painted blues, greens, yellows, and some were the grayish color of trees. Whatever type of house it was, whatever color it wore, they all had one thing in common, they all hung their sun-minis on the outside door knob to soak up the rays.

I had soon ended up in front of Stuhl’s door. I wasn’t sure if I was to just walk in or if it was better to knock. My better judgment urged me to knock, and a voice from within beckoned “Come on in!”

I twisted the door knob and pushed the door open, allowing myself into the hut. “So your back already?” Stuhl asked from the kitchen, without much interest.

The range and sink, which essentially made up the so called “kitchen” were to the immediate right of the entrance, so I closed the door and marched over to Stuhl who was washing his hands in the sink, and leaned against the wall. “Yeah, it wasn’t much of a challenge. I’m serious about training you know,” I answered.

He smiled a bit as he dried his hands on a rag near him. “The Cave of Alignment is certain death to most travelers. Many people rely heavily on their senses to guide them through, but even the most heightened senses cannot assist in the navigation of such a hell.”

I chuckled a little, “I admit it was no picnic, but how could anyone die in there? I mean it took me a few minutes to get used to the atmosphere. After that it was a doable task.”

“Most people are not conditioned to give up on their senses and trust in pure primitive instinct. That is the very reason they get lost for days, even weeks, and without food, without water, they die. The very inability to reassure one’s self through thought or speaking aloud is robbed from the person; they easily slip into insanity and wait for death. That was the hell you trekked through this day.


Thanks for reading!

© 2009 Ramza

Author's Note

Anything that needs work. Thanks for reading as well!

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Chapter five has been posted so soon! I'm so glad to have been able to read this, your creativity never fails to amaze. I've wonder if I have said this before, but I love how you create certain things in your story. This world you've made, it so alluring and makes the reader want to read on, and live in it a bit longer with each page. I know I'll be terribly sad once it comes to an end, but as they say, all good stories have to.

Here's a little critique now. On this line, "I decided to sit under the tree for a bit, allowing by back and head to rest against the thick," I wonder if by was meant to by my? That was the only glitch I found grammar wise, the rest of the write didn't seem to have any spelling errors or the like. And on your descriptions of the cave. I liked how you went into detail on the inside, but I still feel that the mysterious cave needs a bit more of description. Hm, I think that's just me though.

Overall, I enjoyed this piece and can't wait to see how Gale will develop. I almost feel as if I'm beginning to truly know him through your writing. This is a great chapter, and I know the next will be too.

Posted 14 Years Ago

Wow... just wow! Once again, the details, descriptions, and imagery have blown me away! What a wonderful story this was! The plot and everything were captivating and wonderful! I think you did a superb job with this whole story! It was totally awesome! :D

Posted 14 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on August 14, 2009



Westerville, OH

Not much to say except that I used to love writing but as of late I don't know what's happened to me. I'm hoping to get back into what I loved and hope that some people can muster up some honest/helpf.. more..

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