public enemies

public enemies

A Poem by joshua deathdealer
"

06/2011

"
two worlds apart, separate lives
tangled on the battle front
                 bodies lay mangled at our hands
oh the forest we have torn down
desperately trying to reach each other  
                 oh the cities we have laid to waste
only to be in each others arms
acting on our criminal attributes 
                  reduced to our primal instincts 
now we're riding around, raining terror
our bullets shower in waves
                   they will never take us alive, my love
feeling like a scene Bonnie & Clyde 
our essence is on this long road 
                   our liveliness beats from the speakers
you laugh at the blue lights in the mirror
pointing at the absurd billboards
                    the scenery flies by in perfection
in this moment I am truly happy
please don't wake me up


© 2011 joshua deathdealer


Author's Note

joshua deathdealer

My Review

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Featured Review

WOW!
There is so much in this short but powerful piece of writing! The metaphors and comparison to the army battlefield is really exhilarating. The poem creates a speed that matches that of the field. Though I comprehend the message you convey, my stronger interpretation of this is totally different to yours - for I do not see the cars so much - instead I relate to relations, changing and growth of landscapes.
Thanks for sharing your poetry.
A

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

as always, an excellent write =]

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kinda cool subject you got going on here yo... criminals in hand, in love to the end. very emotional mate.
liked it, keep up the good work. only criticism maybe, which is purely perspective so don't fright, when using metaphors, try and keep 'em throughout the poem and don't reveal them, unless you want to in the author's note or description, sometimes that makes a piece really thought provoking and enhances the emotional impact. just a thought to ponder next time when writing ;)
no worries, I reveal my metaphors in my poem alot too, but that's just me being amateur trying to spit out a poem a day so I end up rushing most of my poetry. really enjoyed this though, thnx for the RR.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the dark visual parts of this! Great write. c:

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very powerful!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1547 Views
54 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 27, 2011
Last Updated on December 8, 2011
Tags: romance, bonnie, clyde, emo, scene, love, rebellion, dark, surrealism

Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



About
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..

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