the arrogant mage

the arrogant mage

A Chapter by joshua deathdealer
"

11/2011 (Fantasy Installment Two)

"
The shadowy clouds that gathered above
matched the heart of the young man
that rode a hellish steed, expeditiously 
towards the impending and soaring citadel

He had studied long and laboriously in
consideration of this glorious day, he 
had ruthlessly murdered countless clergy  
in order to absorb enough spiritual essence 

To ascend to the level of the most high
gods, to return and reign over this lowly
world with superiority and fear, laughter bursts
out as he makes his way to the massive entrance

This was his destiny, pushing open the door
he walks in whistling a favorite tune, in the
center of the room was a perfectly square
mirror, no reflection just murky silvery swirls

His black mantle flutters as he rushes to the
ethereal gateway, a monk stands up from
the tables that surrounds the speculum in an
effort to stop the dark wizard's advancement 

Lightning stabs through the walls and strikes
the ill fated servant, thunder follows as he 
falls to the floor and the arrogant mage steps
over the smoking body to stands before the portal

Lifting his arms upward, he commands that
the gods receive him into their divine dimension
and grant him the powers that he so rightfully deserves,
a huge hand reaches out and squashes him like a bug


© 2012 joshua deathdealer


Author's Note

joshua deathdealer
"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Really enjoyed. I'm a sucker for a horse and sword story of any kind, especially when there's magic afoot. Really nice imagery, and foreshadowing. The only constructive crit I can offer is that in the last line of stanza five....there should be an apostraphe on "dark wizard's advancement." just a typo. Kickass poem dude.
Cheers!

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Dear joshua deathdealer,

Nice one. I like how you take all the dark imagery and diction weaving it together to build up the arrogance of the mage. Indeed, the ending was comical and made me laugh, but the way it was built up like the tower of Babel, lol. Words like "studied laboriously" and "what he thought he deserved" to show us all that our own understanding of things can most certainly fail us. All that exalting himself, only to be humbled to an insect. "Those that exalt themselves are humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted." I enjoyed this.

Thank you very much for sharing!

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

joshua deathdealer

8 Years Ago

Thank you for pointing that out. It was a very hard poem for me. In fact this book has been a real t.. read more
Victorious

8 Years Ago

Ah, sticking to it is probably the hardest thing to do as a writer, lol. You can do some real fun mi.. read more
joshua deathdealer

8 Years Ago

Yes it works very well.
I like all of them, but this is my favorite one.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very discriptive, great imagery!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am enjoying yet another side of your writing. I especially like how you are breaking your second line mid-sentence. it gives a unique cadence to the piece. Your descriptives are not yet quite as strong as they could be, but I have no doubt you will bring that along with your usual ability to improve in great leaps withing in short time frames. Nice Josh(usa) which is it? You are one that I truly enjoy reading because you are always working to stretch, improve and strengthen your voice. Keep at it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I LOVE IT. the imagery was absolutely amazing and i loved the ending. he so rightfully got what he deserved. :P

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved it! Very good lesson here. Awesome use of vocab.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There must be worlds inside your head. I liked this a lot. So much can be taken away from this. I was wondering how you were going to end it, and you did not fail to deliver. I did notice though that you might want to edit the last line of the third verse: "as he makes his way-"
Great write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awesome imagery...as always. I feel like this could make a great story even a whole book if you stretch out the concept. Interesting stuff!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HAHAHAHA good for him. That's what he gets for his actions. This was more of a story that a poem, but either way this was a great.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

If that ain't the truth, just ask they guy who tossed the football to the turf BEFORE crossing the goal line....NO SCORE. I loved this, it was intense and mysterious, with a great message. I've always liked that quote "Pride goeth before the fall. Good job deathdealer.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1351 Views
37 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 10, 2011
Last Updated on July 1, 2012
Tags: fantasy, magic, pride, metaphoric, arrogance


Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



About
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..

Writing
5 5

A Poem by joshua deathdealer



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Succubus Succubus

A Poem by Muse