the arrogant mage

the arrogant mage

A Chapter by joshua deathdealer
"

11/2011 (Fantasy Installment Two)

"
The shadowy clouds that gathered above
matched the heart of the young man
that rode a hellish steed, expeditiously 
towards the impending and soaring citadel

He had studied long and laboriously in
consideration of this glorious day, he 
had ruthlessly murdered countless clergy  
in order to absorb enough spiritual essence 

To ascend to the level of the most high
gods, to return and reign over this lowly
world with superiority and fear, laughter bursts
out as he makes his way to the massive entrance

This was his destiny, pushing open the door
he walks in whistling a favorite tune, in the
center of the room was a perfectly square
mirror, no reflection just murky silvery swirls

His black mantle flutters as he rushes to the
ethereal gateway, a monk stands up from
the tables that surrounds the speculum in an
effort to stop the dark wizard's advancement 

Lightning stabs through the walls and strikes
the ill fated servant, thunder follows as he 
falls to the floor and the arrogant mage steps
over the smoking body to stands before the portal

Lifting his arms upward, he commands that
the gods receive him into their divine dimension
and grant him the powers that he so rightfully deserves,
a huge hand reaches out and squashes him like a bug


© 2012 joshua deathdealer


Author's Note

joshua deathdealer
"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

My Review

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Featured Review

Really enjoyed. I'm a sucker for a horse and sword story of any kind, especially when there's magic afoot. Really nice imagery, and foreshadowing. The only constructive crit I can offer is that in the last line of stanza five....there should be an apostraphe on "dark wizard's advancement." just a typo. Kickass poem dude.
Cheers!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow, this is fantastic! Amazing imagery and such an amazing story with such climactic ending. That as boastful as one can be, as haughty in attitude when they look down upon those unfortunate, of those who are in their eyes 'less than', they find out eventually that they are no better than the rest of us.

Though it reads more like prose to me than poetry, I did enjoy the breaks in between-it would truly be epic to add rhymes within it but honestly that would be more fun than anything-the way it stands now is perfect and I probably wouldn't change a thing. The story line reads like an epic saga with moralistic views that catch us in the end (or rather catches the antagonist in the end). Magnificent write! Detailed and delightful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So Willy Shakespeare and Nostradamus walk into a bar and decide to collaborate on writing the sequel to Tolkien's LOTR........ gotta love quatrains. Good stuff, keep going.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is phenomenal.. You are so descriptive that I felt as though I was walking inside your minds eye with this one.. Love it Josh..x

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really enjoyed. I'm a sucker for a horse and sword story of any kind, especially when there's magic afoot. Really nice imagery, and foreshadowing. The only constructive crit I can offer is that in the last line of stanza five....there should be an apostraphe on "dark wizard's advancement." just a typo. Kickass poem dude.
Cheers!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

When Zelda meet Dragonlance and Dungeons and Dragons? =)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

YES...........completly.....your forshadowing made me want that ending..well written.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1406 Views
37 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on November 10, 2011
Last Updated on July 1, 2012
Tags: fantasy, magic, pride, metaphoric, arrogance


Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



About
"My trepidation of things past is not a song with a beginning, middle and end. But an endless symphony playing infinite variations on the same theme. One day of sadness fades into another and the .. more..

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