the greedy dragon

the greedy dragon

A Chapter by joshua deathdealer
"

12/2011 (Fantasy Installment Four)

"
Wyvern rule the skies this far out
Circling battles wage behind the 
gold dragon as his massive wings
slices though the frigid morning 

After weeks of marauding the
ports and shoreline cities of
the south, the treasure laden 
behemoth was lair bound

He had flown quite a distance
and now before him lay the
immense frozen sea, the last 
hurtle before his cavernous home

His squat rider suggests tossing
some of the heavy loot that is tied
securely around the dragons waist
To help relieve his strained flight 

Nonsense, he snorts and maneuvers
over the vast body of frozen waves
Pushing his aching wings he climbs
high and speedily towards looming cliffs

The weight of precious stones and
countless gold bars begin to take an 
evident toll on the laboring beast
His breath shudders under the stress

The air around the greedy dragon 
slows, his shoulders lock and he starts 
to plummet towards the unforgiving icy expanse  
Screams are replaced by a sickening thwack 

      


© 2011 joshua deathdealer


Author's Note

joshua deathdealer
"Shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"

My Review

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Featured Review

Dear joshua deathdealer,

The last stanza is a little confusing. Who's screams? The rider and the dragon? Did they both fall? The fight of the dragons must symbolize the dog-eats-dog thing going on in our society today. You seemed to have made the man considerate, which is opposite of greedy, though? Is it the greediness of the dragon that causes the fall? Then what's the point of the man? Or are the two one like the werewolf where there is conflict between beast and man?

I liked this line, though, "the heavy loot that is that is tied securely around the dragon's waist" to show that our security in riches often leads us to a fall because they provide no security at all, for riches eventually fail us.

Thanks for sharing!

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Dear joshua deathdealer,

The last stanza is a little confusing. Who's screams? The rider and the dragon? Did they both fall? The fight of the dragons must symbolize the dog-eats-dog thing going on in our society today. You seemed to have made the man considerate, which is opposite of greedy, though? Is it the greediness of the dragon that causes the fall? Then what's the point of the man? Or are the two one like the werewolf where there is conflict between beast and man?

I liked this line, though, "the heavy loot that is that is tied securely around the dragon's waist" to show that our security in riches often leads us to a fall because they provide no security at all, for riches eventually fail us.

Thanks for sharing!

Sincerely Livana Lowell (LL)

God bless

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice way of teaching a lesson that greed is a sin. i loved all of the stories keep writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very powerful. Wonderful moral. Well done. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Proverb was the word that came to mind while reading this. Keep it up, I'm really enjoying reading these.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

All of them are very satifying ,and well done..I will love reading all you add!Laury

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Freaking awesome...An idea crossed my mind so message me when you get a chance. But this was awesome.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Powerful story with a powerful moral.

This could work as a child's story I think.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

cool descriptions!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great question...your good at stories, I wouldn't mind reading something a bit more lengthy in this kind of style...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 1, 2011
Last Updated on December 8, 2011
Tags: fantasy, greed, dragon, metaphoric


Author

joshua deathdealer
joshua deathdealer

Casket City, FL



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