Think of you

Think of you

A Poem by Canicus

Thoughts of you cross my mind
How wonderful you are
I keep those thoughts
Never will they deteriate
Knowing I will love you forever

Often I think of you
Feel you with me sometimes I do
You are amazing to me
On my mind all day, everyday
Unsuprizingly I find myself to always...

© 2011 Canicus


Author's Note

Canicus
at the end with the ... read the capital letters downward

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Featured Review

What I enjoyed:

1) I enjoy the lack of punctuation
2) To me, it is has a very lyrical quality that could easily fit in a song
3) I love the last line

What could be changed:

1) "Thoughts of you cross my mind" This line begs for a more potent word than "cross"
2) "You are amazing to me" Even though I love the lyrical quality of this poem, this line sticks out as being lesser than the rest.
3) "On my mind all day, everyday" In this context, "everyday" will be "every day" as everyday refers to something commonplace.

You being 15 was an added bonus in reading your poem. Most people are not writing this well at your age, or not writing at all.

Cheers :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

What I enjoyed:

1) I enjoy the lack of punctuation
2) To me, it is has a very lyrical quality that could easily fit in a song
3) I love the last line

What could be changed:

1) "Thoughts of you cross my mind" This line begs for a more potent word than "cross"
2) "You are amazing to me" Even though I love the lyrical quality of this poem, this line sticks out as being lesser than the rest.
3) "On my mind all day, everyday" In this context, "everyday" will be "every day" as everyday refers to something commonplace.

You being 15 was an added bonus in reading your poem. Most people are not writing this well at your age, or not writing at all.

Cheers :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good flow and I love how you created the poem so that when you read the first letters downward, it was the title. Very creative, and lovely. Nice! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Ah, a spirited and good prose, easy to read with a good flow, well done, great read.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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230 Views
3 Reviews
Added on June 30, 2011
Last Updated on June 30, 2011

Author

Canicus
Canicus

WV



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