The Political Catcher

You know what kills me? Politics. Those crummy republicans and their damn toilet paper made out of dollars bills, the goddam democrats parading the white flag around like a crummy trophy. What kills me is all this fancy talk that hops around during election times, it really does. Take ‘ol Romney for example, I don’t know what he’s saying half the damn time, but I swear everything he says he says with a goddam smug look, like he’s better than you, man I can’t stand it, I really can’t. Anyways, I was watching the television and up comes ‘ol Romney talking in his phoney way, saying something about his campaign to run for President, to be honest, I don’t know why anyone would want to be president of anything. For christsake, having to worry about every crummy complaint that lands on your lap, I would hate it, I really would. I wouldn’t be president even if they paid me a million bucks, those idiots. Anyway, I couldn’t really focus on what ‘ol Romney was saying cause every goddam minute he was licking his lips and cracking his knuckles. Man that kills me, it really does, when people are in public and they just go ahead and crack their crummy knuckles, I mean, no one wants to be walking in the park and start hearing firecrackers coming from someone hands. Anyways, at the end of his commercial there was number at the bottom, 786-ROMNEY. I was thinking of calling the number, just for the hell of it, thinkin about pulling their legs a little, but I decided not to. I wasn’t in the mood to do that, and you always gotta be in the right mood to do something like that. But right after sonuvabitch Romney stunk up the television another candidate pops up, this time their name was Rudy Johnson, she was a real young to be running for President, like 29. She had long blonde hair pulled up into a hellava big bun, it looked kind of uncomfortable; she had some big, pretty blue eyes though with cute little eyelashes, she really did. She started talking about how she would lower tax rates and all that, but she keep touching her hair, fixing it to a more comfortable position. Then she does something I will never forget as long as I live. She up and unscrambles that big ‘ole bun of hers, It shocked me, it really did. All of her blonde locks fell down to her elbows, and then she goes says “Sorry. That bun was real annoying.” Then she walks off, making this real awful face at the crowd, like she was embarrassed, leaving her speech unfinished. That just about shot me in the face, when people act all embarrassed after doing something. If I did what ‘ol Rudy just did, I would have just continued with my speech, acting like nothing happened, maybe laugh it off at the end. But not leave blushing my way off the stage. Anyways, who really cares about politics, it just a bunch of phoneys arguing about what to do about some crummy issue that benefits no one anyway. I flip off the television, realizing that only idiots care what goddam politicians do anyways.

Author's Note

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