You were never here

You were never here

A Poem by butterfly

I feel so alone
I want to scream
Who to call on the phone
This a a nightmarish dream
I hate what you do to me
You leave me here lonely
Why do you mess with my mind
Why do you play this part
Of breaking my heart
I blocked you could have left me alone
Tell me all this bullshit how your job cant have us talking on the phone
You are my ghost
For the first time you look so scary to me
You play the good husband
Does she know what you do
She is safe with you
With the diamond rings
All the pretty things
You lie beside her in your Santa Claws apparel
Why dont you love me
Instead you cast your you have love for me spell
I hate you today so well
Why do we abuse
Why did you beat me black and blue
I think  he wears a mask
Why am I the one you attack
you didnt even give me my prize
I am the doll you just cast aside
Then when I say good bye
you come with your notes and I am tied
The more I stay I realize
I dont like this guy
i dont even know
I thought we were connected in the soul
Now I see you were just my ghost
So leave stay with her
Why didnt you just leave me blocked
Why bring me home and be my lover
Where are the good men its one after the other
Then my hike buddy asks me if i watch porn when i masturbate
Are these the ways your mama taught you what to say
when talking to a lady in your day
I dont understand
i want to scream
Yet it has become so lonely
i loved you only
But you disappeared
I realize you were never here



I catch and release
we aren't meant to be
Yesterday was a mistake
Now i see
why am I dumb
Why can't you let me be
oh sweet love
where is that destiny
Please mother mary
Pray for me
Life has become a bummer
A wasted summer
I want my poetry to be talking about something more worthy
Why is it so complicated
When will we get back to those days
When love shined brighter than sun rays
Now my country shows that love is dim
Everyone diving in to sin
Even me
I pray for mercy
I suppose this is my mission
Love remains hidden
I realize we were just children
I say goodbye for the last time
Never will I say yes
I realize I never knew you
Everything must have been a lie
Even that JC tattoo
A real believer wouldnt scar their skin
For an image we have never seen
I dont judge
This aint love
This is just all fucked up
I feel so alone
I feel the raging running through my veins
There is no one to call on the phone
I am supposed to know better supposed to be grown
Will the mystery of love be known
Oh God please please throw me a bone
This lonely place is just so cold
I realize I love you only
Yet all this time I just wanted to be distracted from the lonely
All I find is smash and dash then disappear
All the guys are the same they were never hear
They drop me a text randomly from time to time
I ask you men why do you play with our minds
I pray to you mother Mary
Please dont let it be too late for me
Let me solve this mystery
Let love come to be and never ever leave
I realize though now love is still hidden
Dimmed in the distance
By silly children
When will the loneliness disappear
Now I see why its no good to lose control
With you I thought i was whole
but we were never here

© 2021 butterfly


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Added on May 15, 2021
Last Updated on May 15, 2021

Author

butterfly
butterfly

CA



About
"Butterflies are the heaven sent kisses of an angel." more..

Writing