Why I am Called Butterfly

In the midst of self discovery brought forth from a toxic relationship...

I blocked him

I got conquered in the swim

Crashed under his tidal wave

My heart just wont behave

I feel his lips on my skin

I feel his tongue lick me within

i drown in him

I sacrificed myself so we could win

What do you do for me

 After he had his way he fades from me

Like waking from a dream

Lost in the aftermath

Lost on a nightmare path

Back to his life

To lie down with his wife

As I sink back down on the sand

I wonder why you are not a man

Why you are not strong enough to stand

With me

For me

I need more than I miss you

I need more than notes with always thinking of you

I need you here with me

I need you loving me

but you wont

i just let you go

Without anger

In the end i know

i loved you so

Even in that last crash

I feel lost in the ghost

Now I am awake

With so much pain and heartache

But you see i am a cool girl

i am ice cold

All that I felt

All those sweet dreams

I just allow to melt

Until you return to me

The monster in me that you need

will be there waiting

till then I let it be fading

there is this power

i think of it in this lonely hour

the way it feels when he crashes over me

the way it seems when i am underneath his body

what kills me makes me come alive

living off the vampire bite

with each one its the more i like

that gives me the power to fly

you can't leave me down

i wont die without

what kills me makes me come alive

thats why I am called butterfly...