Addie

I watched the light go out of your eyes

held you close, to feel your wind slowing

you didn’t shudder or shake, like you had

you didn’t try to kiss me, like you had

but I did you, on your head, as you slipped

from something, into nothing

I expected the world to pause,

I expected trumpets and angels and instead

there was only silence, and the end;

I turned you to ash and carried you for years

until I couldn’t stand the heaviness in my heart

and let you out into the wind

from where we all start.

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

JR, beyond the pain and disbelief is the loss of innocence. I think everyone sees death differently until they see it, hear it, smell it and touch it. To know the absolute nothingness that washes over you, a survivor, is to know death. You've captured that well in this one. And, yes, we all start and end in the wind, just at different places and times.

[JR]

Seeing it first hand certainly changes you. There's just this moment, where they are, then the next moment where they aren't. It's a hard thing to try and put into words. Appreciate your comments, as always.

[R.E. Ray]

I understand, JR. I've watched people die, one from a gun shot. It changed me forever. Even 20 years later, I still remember the experience. You've captured it as well as anyone could, without the obscene details.

[JR]

Thanks. I'm pretty happy with how the poem turned out, if not for the memory.

[R.E. Ray]

You're a good writer and storyteller, JR. One of the best in the Cafe. Much of what you write could be incorporated into a novel.

[Ken e Bujold]

extremely well composed poem, complex thoughts linked to deep emotions with a precision of language that shows a craftsman at work.

Ken

[JR]

Thanks! This is one of the hardest things I've written but I think it packs a lot of punch

[Donna]

It is so hard to lose someone you love. As we get older, the more people we lose. It is hard to deal with, but we try to go on. We come into the world alone, and we leave here alone. Your write had such feelings! Thanks for sharing!

[Unspoken poet]

This is a touching write, very nicely written

[JR]

Thank you so much!

[sonnie ibadah]

This is so touching! The eerie silence of death is scary.

[JR]

It is remarkable in how unremarkable it is to witness. Thanks, sonnie, that is exactly what I was trying to capture.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem shared my friend. Hard to release pain for someone we needed. You made the reader feel and understand every words. Thank you JR for sharing the powerful words and your thoughts.
Coyote

[JR]

Thanks! This has always been one of those I return and read a lot...

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome JR.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is some seriously good writing. Having lost enough friends and family to last a lifetime I found the sentiment palpable. The reader is there with you in your suffering and seeking the release of letting go right by your side. Powerful work.

[JR]

Thanks man, really proud of managing to somewhat capture what it meant to live with that loss into words. Probably everyone has felt this more than once. Thanks for reading, appreciate it.

[John the Baptist]

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. This is a very poignant piece, showing the contradictions of death, or at least, our interpretations of it. Like most deaths, it seems not to have been a violent one, but that very lack of violence has a profound impact on the speaker, as he watches the beloved fade "from something into nothing." The poem shows plainly the dreamlike quality of life, its ability to change so radically in a moment. That he was eventually able to come to terms with the loss is shown by the scattering of the ashes "into the wind/from where we all start." Makes me think of the old Kansas song "Dust in the Wind." A very deep and moving piece.

[JR]

Thank you, John. This is a very special poem to me.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A painful realization when left here, alone and without warning, well done, good read.

[JR]

Thank you so much.

[AJNJ]

The sadness in loss is felt keenly yet the act of letting go feels very human. That is just life. Well expressed.

[JR]

Thanks man, I was hoping that sense of loss and letting go would come through.

[AJNJ]

It has and in a big way.

you didn’t try to kiss me, like you had
but I did you, on your head, as you slipped

Keep writing.