Timber

Timber

A Poem by E. R. Rawding
"

A poem of conniving, evil trees

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of Timber.



It was a dark, cold night in the forest near town
Jonathan R. Graves decided to head down
Down to the woodland, full of hatred and death
Down to the woodland, where he'd breathe his last breath
Unknowingly, of course; he was not suicidal
But the woods outside of town were homocidal
They thirsted for blood in a demonic manner
And their ringleader was a fiendish planner
He devised an attack on the poor old guy
That would send the man's soul up to the sky
He gathered his band of possessed trees
And said this to them with a pronounced wheeze
"Tree One, Tree Two, Tree Three, Tree Four,
Here's what we'll do with he who we abhor:
We'll grab him as he walks through the path,
Then we will show him our pine-scented wrath.
We'll poke him, prod him, do as we please,
Then I will beat him to his knees.
I'll crush his pathetic human skull,
Then his life will become null."
The trees all raised their limbs and cheered
The leader stroked his leafy beard
"The time has come, the time is now;
Bring me that vile, filthy cow."
The underling trees did as they were told
The sight of these "creatures" was much to behold
They grabbed poor Jonathan R. Graves
In his mind he hoped that Jesus truly saves
But nobody can escape the Ire of the Forest
Not even an exceptional florist
Jonathan R. Graves was never again seen
And the forest remained healthy and green

© 2010 E. R. Rawding




Featured Review

Pretty nice write, I honestly like this one. Just watch your line breaks, which is something I didn't mention in the last review. You should put commas or periods at the end of each line of the poem, unless that line is meant to be read continuously. For instance:

But nobody can escape the Ire of the Forest
Not even an exceptional florist

You should probably insert a comma after "Forest," because, if you don't, I take it like you want me to read the whole thing without pausing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

wow...loved this one...truly the only criticism would be to watch your line breaks and your meter...but you invoke wonderful imagery and I love your thymes.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I Love it!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


Same here, I think this so kawaii as well.

Those monstorous trees, and their devious boughs stretching to grab and grasp and never let go.

A true monster of nature and the end captivated me so. Demonic, evil, hidden well, they continue to expand and grow.

I won't dwell on what Dutch said because it's true. Anyways, I complement you for sharing, I do.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Pretty nice write, I honestly like this one. Just watch your line breaks, which is something I didn't mention in the last review. You should put commas or periods at the end of each line of the poem, unless that line is meant to be read continuously. For instance:

But nobody can escape the Ire of the Forest
Not even an exceptional florist

You should probably insert a comma after "Forest," because, if you don't, I take it like you want me to read the whole thing without pausing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

We'll grab him as he walks through the path,
Then we will show him our pine-scented wrath.

Amazing lines here, This is wonderful
and ever so poetic.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


"We'll grab him as he walks through the path,
Then we will show him our pine-scented wrath.'

Wow, this literally made me laugh out loud!
I loved it.

"The trees all raised their limbs and cheered
The leader stroked his leafy beard"

You took personification to a whole new level. :P

Fun poem! :]

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


LOVE THIS!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


Poem is very good. Don't under estimate the power of nature. I like the story and the ending was very good. Nature should be protected. We need fresh air to breath and clean water to drink. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


wow. i love this.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 13 Years Ago



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7 Reviews
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Added on May 15, 2010
Last Updated on May 16, 2010

Author

E. R. Rawding
E. R. Rawding

NE



About
blech. i hate these little blurbs. if you wanna get to know me, talk to me. or read my work, you'll get some pretty good insight from that :P and please, don't send me a read request unless you can.. more..

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