" Veramooney "

" Veramooney "

A Poem by judith106

Longing for night, when the worlds' dark and slow.
Why she feels she must roam, she truly does not know.
Wanting so to resist, yet gives in to the pain.
Preparing to go, she steps out into the rain.
She knows what she needs, and that she must try.
Her tears flowing freely, while searching the sky.
Wondering why she wants this, when no other would.
Never stopping her search, always wishing she could.
Feeling so tired, still compelled to go on.
Continuing  the search until the first sign of dawn...
                                      JAM

© 2012 judith106


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Featured Review

I like your style of writing, full of depth and emotion. I also love the title.

My only small issues would be:-
(1) "when the worlds' dark and slow." - unless you are talking about more than one world, it should say "when the world's dark and slow.".
(2) "Preparing to go, she steps out into the rain." - might flow better if it was "Preparing to go, she steps out in the rain."

These are minor issues and only my opinion. I did enjoy the poem and look forward to reading more like this!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

First of all I love the rhyming. ^^* When she steps out into the rain while crying I couldn't help but think of myself. But anyway aside from my rambling... "Feeling so tired" was a line too that stood out for me. It is like even though she is emotionally frazzled and longing she continues regardless.

Posted 11 Years Ago


such a sad piece with a lovely form to it. Provoke a lot of thoughts and concerns for those concerned

Posted 11 Years Ago


I like your style of writing, full of depth and emotion. I also love the title.

My only small issues would be:-
(1) "when the worlds' dark and slow." - unless you are talking about more than one world, it should say "when the world's dark and slow.".
(2) "Preparing to go, she steps out into the rain." - might flow better if it was "Preparing to go, she steps out in the rain."

These are minor issues and only my opinion. I did enjoy the poem and look forward to reading more like this!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like this! It flows nicely........ very deep! Excellent poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


You have a great style. Kind of reminds me of Dylan Thomas.

Posted 12 Years Ago


judith106

11 Years Ago

I will be honest I did not know who Dylan Thomas was but have since read some of his work...thank yo.. read more

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Added on July 4, 2012
Last Updated on July 4, 2012
Tags: addiction. self hate. casual sex