The Singles ' Scene Via the Internet

Can anyone relate to this?

The Singles Scene on the Internet (I stand as a Witness)

 

Bore Number One:  "I am 73 but look 10 years younger, and love to dance even with my Walker!"  (Ok, I made that rhyme - but it is still funny)

 

Bore Number Two: " I LOVE MY HARLEY more than life!  She makes me happier than the ex-wife!"  (Then put it between your legs and quit bitchin' because neither she nor I want you at all in our lives or betwixt our thighs - Ok - I rhymed once again)

 

Bore Number Three:  "Can't wait to go Camping this year!  I sleep out in the Great Wide Open just me and my sleepin' bag... no tent and the stars above... nearly bring me to tears! " (A heartfelt story but hey, Sorry I want a hotel suite on the Beach in Cabo overlooking the Ocean - am I shallow?)

 

Bore Number Four:  "I want to hold hands with my lover, watch the sunset at dusk and walk on the sandy beaches of Costa Rica".  (Too bad he works in maintenance at the junior high school in Sonoma - plus he pays out the butt in child support and alimony for 4 kids - yikes!  Has no time or money to spend on a Princess like me.  Plus he has several missing teeth.)

 

Bore Number Five:  (Ok it- started out alright -  This guy was a Hottie - 43, 6'3 with green-gold eyes and drop dead bod to match - wavy black hair - a Harlot's dream - OK! it was my dream - so what!?)  Anyway, his essay entailed being "A Zealot Born Again Christian - Looking for a Good Woman who is a great cook, who cleans and waits on me hand and foot - one I would like to keep barefoot and pregnant and keeps the kids out from underfoot!"  (He TOTALLY SAID THAT).  Yikes. (and yes, I did rhyme again there, and by the way, I am sure it was a fake picture!)

 

Bore Number Six:  "I am 53 (but he looked 73 in the picture) and I would love a good woman to have for the rest of my life.  My last two wives died untimely deaths (OK, Serial Killer??) and I long to hold a warm body next to mine (I bet!). 

 

Bore Number Seven:  (I should have quit while I was ahead)  "I want a hard-workin' woman with a good job that don't mind watchin' the kids, making the most money and always home at night to give me a damn good Hummer!"  (Good Lord, I hardly knew what to say to that one)

 

Now I am thinking I need to get off of this site - YA THINK??!!

 

Perhaps you all got a good laugh out of this - at my expense - NO LESS.

 

And perhaps I shall continue my SAGA of finding a man worthy of my Good Lovin'.  And I have straight teeth, and nice hair, can spell and do math (without a calculator sometimes) and a 'real' job, etc. 

 

Perhaps I should update everyone weekly - Wad'Ya Say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Hope you get a good laugh out of this - my sad, single life - LOL

Reviews

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

Interesting (yes, and amusing, but not at your expense) to read the female perspective of internet dating. My own experience involved a succession of very hot, very blond, very young Russian women proclaiming un-dieing love if I would only send money to pay for their visas and air-travel to UK... HAHA!

[Onyx_Rayne]

HAHAHA..OMG! I love bore 6... that is the story of my life - at least the part where the man wants a hard working woman. haha... Sooo funny sister :)

[One Last Drop...]

OMG!!

Agreed, it is funny, but again, not at your expense. I feel sorry for those guys. And being single rocks!!! Don't diss it. I admit I have had very little dating and relationship experience, but I'm better off single. Then you can flirt all you want! XD

~Ash

[ShadowWolf]

Amusing yes, but not at your expense for that is all true of many people.
Single life? I revel in my freedom now, but for you out there somewhere is a seeking spirit for you.

[Trisha]

was that you on ebay? Ebay is not a singles site! By some glasses and a rubber friend. you might have more luck!

[Jinx]

Ok, bore number six had me in stitches. Watch out for those seriel killers, as opposed to cereal killers who eat all the damn cereal in your house! A dear friend of mine is on one of these internet dating sites. Oh man, the stories I hear from her! LOL

This was very cute, and yes, you should give weekly updates or something. =)

[C. M. Miller]

F'n-a*s phunny as hell! You might wanna take a second look at #3, though. Ha! Good one, Jewels!