Telegrams and Bus (STOP)s

a very dysfunctional set of telegrams for a man I hope to never meet on a bus I haven't taken,

January 9th

Telegram dear, 

My love for you,

It'll never (STOP)

I wish you'd (STOP) 

Spinning me around

Wish you'd (STOP)

turning my world 

upside down

But it all

Turned into

When did our love (STOP)

Why do my cheeks heat

for a different reason

and my fists clench up?

January 15th

Telegram my love, 

On the bus route of broken hearts

Was it between this or the last (STOP)

Where your eyes met mine

and the sparks finally decided

to (STOP)

I want you to drive away

 and never (STOP)

Leave me here

Till the dust settles

Till the world (STOP)s

Spinning

February 2nd

Telegram Sweetheart, 

(STOP) right there

Not another word

When every bus (STOP)

has become a period

to an unsaid sentence

I feel like a grey hound

Who can't (STOP)

running

And you're that guy 

who can't (STOP)

betting

February 8th

Telegram Darling, 

I wish you'd (STOP)

taking the same route

I wish you'd (STOP)

talking so loud

I wish you'd (STOP)

staring across the aisle way

With a s**t-eating grin

(STOP) (STOP) (STOP)

Bus driver (STOP) 

I need to get off

March 12th

Telegram Sir, 

When you said 

You'd never (STOP) loving

did you mean 

Me?

Did you ever mean a word?

(STOP)

I know when you're lying

I wish I could (STOP)

missing you

March 21st

Telegram Mr, 

It's my (STOP)

Where I've stepped off

This merry-go round

The screaming horses

Coming to a creaking (STOP)

A racehorse

Who's finally

Retired

May 7th

Telegram Stranger, 

This morning

you stepped in on my bus route

like you were stepping on a bug

who was trying to crawl away

And it could only be you

Who could ever

(STOP) it

June 6th

Telegram Fool,

Just like that lipstick

that never washed out

I can't (STOP) seeing you

Can't (STOP) her hands

and I never (STOP)ped 

her lips

June 8th

Telegram Jerk, 

Our eyes have locked

In a staring contest

We just never (STOP)ped

But this time

I (STOP) blinking

June 15th

Telegram Cheater, 

Was it worth it?

Was her almost 

as good as my yes?

(STOP) don't answer

July 14th

Telegram Prick, 

The months haven't changed you

But they've made me (STOP)

and think

August 9th

Telegram B*****d, 3

(STOP) looking at me

(STOP) holding her hand

September 13th

Telegram A*****e, 

Isn't this your stop?

Reviews

[B. Boileau]

Neat idea, double meanings always add to writing. I like the progressive nature of this piece. And than the emotion puts it over the top.
well done !
bill

[Closing Thoughts]

This poem actually made me get choked up and then angry. The emotion is this is fantastic. And I love the structure. It's super clever and just awesome. The progression of this love story to totally abhorring this man is so clear and painful in a rip-my-heart out sort of way. Also, the dates given really set a solid time frame for this--as time moves on so does she. And the word (STOP) is used really well. I'm really amazed with the whole idea of this, and impressed. I'm having trouble doing anything but gush over your poetry, honestly. It's just REALLY REALLY REALLY good.

[Elwyn]

Oh my f*****g god.

SO this is sort of relatable, the idea of being in love, being absolutely in love, and then not. And then everything changes and you still have to see this person you don't really know anymore. It's awful. It's an awful feeling and you captured it EXCEPTIONALLY well here. The initial break-up, of course, was awful, but the whole thing got worse as time went on. Please take a different route, please avoid me, please stop looking at me, like UGH you got it all so perfectly it kind of makes me feel the need to cry. I absolutely adore it.

This feels like a three dimensional poem, because you also got in the passing of time. WHICH DUH, is done super well.

And the language??? Stepping on the bus like you're stepping on a bug. The racehorse, the greyhound. Stunning. I am stunned. I read this like 5 times because I love it.

I'm seriously a sucker for endearment. Use the word "darling" in a poem and I'm putty in your hands. And you have such a good assortment. Darling, Sweetheart, Love Dear... the digression, Sir, Mr., Stranger... Fool, Jerk... and finally, Prick, A*****e, and B*****d. All the same people. It's scary how many facets of being a human can have. It's mind-blowing to think how they hide them. Or maybe they truly did change, there's no way to know.

And isn't it awful to see him hold hands with HER on YOUR bus route.

Julia, I am utterly in love with this poem. Please let me print it out to hang on my walls.

[Julia Ledo]

Please do! I can't wait to see you, I have something for you, just a little thing I got that should be arriving and we'll have to get together when it arrives so you can have it before the start of next semester

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very clever piece, with the use of the "stops" having double meanings...

nicely put together...i like the idea of wanting this to be about someone you want to Never meet.

[Julia Ledo]

Thank you, just a little experimenting really. Glad you enjoyed it