Did we just talk??

Did we just talk??

A Chapter by dramarama123


School. I love school. Not because of the homework but because i get to see my friends and Brittany. Damn, that girl is sooo fine. I can't wait to see her. I was thinking about seeing her and kissing her when THUMP!  I bumped into someone. Who did i bump into??

"Sorry." I said, gathering her books.

"It's ok. i get that all the time." she replied, looking up at me. She looked like an angel. She had something that no other girls had. Not even Brittany.

"I'm Chris. Basetball player. MVP. I'm just a regular jock." i said. I hope i didn't sound like i was showing off.

" I'm Steph. Invisible. Clumsy. I'm just a regular no body." she replied.

"Not in my eyes" i remarked.


Damn, the bell went.

"So I'll see you around sometime," i said again.

"Yeh. Maybe you will." she replied.


He looked sooo hot. But his name sounded so familiar. I wonder who he is.. Oh look! Rachel and Jack!

"Hey guys. Guess what?" i said the second i saw them.

"What?" they both said in unison.

" I talked to this REALLY HOT GUY!!!"
"That's my cue to leave. I'll see you guys in class, " Jack said, walking away.

" Bye!" we both said.

"So tell me about this hot guy," Rachel asked, interested. I don't have much experience with guys so i always go to Rach, the love expert.

"ummm, his name is Chris. He plays basketball. He's the M--" i said before i was cut off.

"OH NO.. OH CRAP.. THAT'S BAD." Rachel said. with a look of horror.

" What??" i asked her.

" Chris is Brittany Walker's boyfriend. AND... he's a Sparrow..." she explained...

At that second, my world came crashing down.

to be continued...

© 2008 dramarama123

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems

My Review

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This is good, still short. I suggest don't hurry up in writing. Don't be too eager to post it. Always read it before posting it and add more information. See, it's easy to picture the situation when you give more detail but not too much detail. The readers might not know what a character looks like because you give him/her too much dialogue, although we can know through the dialogue how that person acts, but it's still better showing his/her actions. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

The grammar isn't bad. The only thing I suggest is again to stretch itout and add some descriptions.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice work. It's for a younger crowd but I think you did a wonderful job!

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i know its a bit short. but i couldnt wait to post it up

Posted 11 Years Ago

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5 Reviews
Added on December 25, 2008



sydney, Australia

i love drama comedy scary and mysteries :) more..

Toes :) Toes :)

A Poem by dramarama123

Preface Preface

A Chapter by dramarama123